


What am I to you?

by Anime_weeb



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Akabane Karma is a Little Shit, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Explicit Language, Gakuho's A+ parenting, Happy Ending?, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sharing a Bed, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Temporary Amnesia, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, after the assassination, asano isn't good with feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:59:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 20
Words: 33,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23821201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anime_weeb/pseuds/Anime_weeb
Summary: Karma looked out from his window in the kitchen, a mug of hot coffee in his hands. It was cold, snow raining down from the sky. That was to be expected, as it was now winter. Goodbye playful days in the sun. Well, at least now the redhead had an excuse to stay inside and bundle up. He glanced at the clock, 12:23, it read. May as well head to bed after he finished his drink. But just as he lifted the mug to his lips, a frantic knock was heard at his door. Who was at his house minutes after midnight?
Relationships: Akabane Karma/Asano Gakushuu, Isogai Yuuma/Maehara Hiroto, Kayano Kaede/Shiota Nagisa
Comments: 106
Kudos: 367





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My poor attempt at a slow burn. Enjoy.

Karma looked out from his window in the kitchen, a mug of hot coffee in his hands. It was cold, snow raining down from the sky. That was to be expected, as it was now winter. Goodbye playful days in the sun. Well, at least now the redhead had an excuse to stay inside and bundle up. He glanced at the clock, 12:23am, it read. May as well head to bed after he finished his drink. But just as he lifted the mug to his lips, a frantic knock was heard at his door. Who was at his house at minutes after midnight?

Setting his mug down and running a tired hand through his unruly, red hair, he moved towards the door. More frantic knocks. 

He unlocked his door from the chain and went to open the door, before considering that opening the door to a stranger at midnight in his pyjamas and no protection made him stop in his tracks. After being an assassin in training, he had garnered some very dangerous enemies. So, he went to his bedroom down the hall and grabbed his baseball bat. At least then he could deliver a good whack to the head if needed. 

He stalked back to the door and opened it fully, bat poised and ready. At this point, if he had seen an assassin waiting to kill him, he wouldn't be surprised. If he had seen a mad scientist who wanted to experiment on him, he wouldn't think it were weird. Hell, if he had seen a deformed tentacle monster declaring that he wanted to live with him, he wouldn't even bat and eye. But this? This took him by surprise.

The wind blew in his face and a shiver wracked through his body at the cold. There, in his doorway, stood the infamous Gakushuu Asano, fellow rival and a real pain in the ass from time to time. The head-strong, confident student council president. But as Karma looked at the small, hunched up figure in front of him, he began believing it less and less. It was no doubt the president, his vibrant strawberry blonde hair giving it away. But everything else was just...wrong.

He didn't have his perfect posture, his back was hunched. He didn't have formal clothing like his school uniform or a suit, he had on shorts and a thin, wool jumper. He didn't have his usual, combed hair, it was wind-swept and messy. His smooth skin, a big bruise blooming across his cheek. His eyes- Normally cold and calculating, pleading and sad. Little tears welled up on his waterline, threatening to spill. He was shivering, bleeding, _scared_. He looked close to passing out.

"Didn't know where else to go..." Was the broken whisper Karma heard before catching Asano as he collapsed.

Karma was confused. But also _concerned_. What the hell had happened to him? To look so roughed up, so frightened. In all the years Karma had known Asano, he had _never_ seen that expression on his face. Not when he put wasabi in his food, or when he stole yet another exam from under his feet with a solid 3 mark difference, not even when he spread the false rumour of Asano wearing glasses. Though, that one backfired as now everyone wanted to see Asano in glasses and declared he would look cute, so he guessed that one didn't count. Not even when he was called to the principal's office numerous times in one day, he had never showed such raw fear. It unnerved Karma to no end. If something was enough to shake _Asano_ of all people, what could it possibly be?

Well, it wasn't like he could ask him, he was firmly unconscious. Karma sighed. First things first, he should clean the boy up. He looked a mess, dried blood was on his clothes and he was shivering from the cold. Snow was in his hair and steadily melting under the heat of his living room lights. He would catch a cold if he wasn't warmed up properly, but Karma wasn't very fond of the idea of undressing his rival and putting him in the bath. He could do that himself when he woke up. His skin was ice cold, it was almost as if he were... dead. Karma quickly banished the thought from his head. He wasn't _dead_. His beating heart was proof of that. But just in case he checked his pulse. It was faint, but there. He could work with that.

He carried the surprisingly light boy to his couch and set him down, deciding to overlook the fact that upon doing that, his couch had become significantly wet. He went to his bathroom and grabbed his first aid kit from the cabinet in there and a rag and bowl. He came back into the living room and set the things down beside the male before going to fill up the bowl with warm water. He came back and kneeled in front of him.

He gulped, not liking the way his jumper stuck to his chest. Karma took a deep breath and steeled himself. He was usually ok with seeing blood, it was an everyday occurrence for him, but when it came from someone he had no intention of _actually_ hurting, it made him a tad bit uncomfortable. He then slowly proceeded to lifting Asano's jumper up and over his head once he had succeeded putting the male in an upright position.

His heart nearly stopped once he had removed the jumper fully. Little cuts and bruises littered his pale skin everywhere, but that wasn't what caught his attention. No, it was the hug cut that ran from the side of his neck to the middle of his chest. It was deep and bleeding heavily-it would need stitches. Karma gulped and looked up at the male's distressed face, taking a good look at the bruise on his face. Whoever did this...

Karma shook his head and began to work, dipping the clean rag in the warm water and dabbing at his cuts to get rid of the blood. He sighed in relief when he realised that he did indeed have string and a needle in his first aid box. Lucky for him, he wasn't new to the prospect of stitches, having down it to himself multiple times. A veteran at stitching, if you thought about it. He put some ice on his face, hoping to stop the swelling the bruise had caused. 

Once he deemed Asano ok, he moved onto the nasty looking cut. Honestly, he wouldn't even call it a cut, it was more like a gash. It looked disgusting, puss leaking out of the corners and the skin around it was red and irritated. It wasn't a clean cut, it was ragged and slantingly vertical. With every hesitant breath Asano took, a fresh wave of blood and puss came oozing out. It wasn't a pretty sight, to say the least. He needed to move quickly if he didn't want it to get infected even more. So, he stilled his shaking hands and began prepping the thread. He wouldn't admit it, but of course he was nervous. He had always ever stitched himself up, so this was the first time he was doing it to another person. Contrary to belief, it was ten times harder doing it to someone else. Yes, you had better view, but if you did even one miscalculation or mistake, it could cause extreme pain for the other. If it were you, then you would know your pain tolerance, but with the other, it was completely unknown. At least, that was how Karma saw it. So as he inserted the needle, he hoped he wasn't causing the other discomfort.

When he finally finished and pulled the thread to tighten it and close the wound, he breathed out a breath he didn't realise he was holding. He packed up all of his equipment, not caring if most of it had dried blood on it. They usually did anyway, difference was that this time it wasn't his own. He put the first aid kit back in its original place before going to his bedroom to get clean pyjamas for the male on his couch. Something warm he could bundle up in and hopefully stop him from catching a cold- or worse, a fever. He then made the split second decision of carrying the unconscious male to his bed, deciding that it would be warmer for him.

He laid him down and covered him in his covers before going into a closet and bringing out more blankets to then layer on top of the covers. _'That should keep him warm for the time being'_ Karma thought, satisfied. He closed the window at the side of his room and closed the curtains before leaving the room, keeping the door open in case Asano woke up. It was only then that he realised what he looked like, the mirror in the hall telling him all.

Dried blood was on both his hands and face. His hands from stitching up the wound, and his face from when he wiped the sweat from it, unknowingly wiping blood on his forehead and cheek. He instantly felt disgusting. He wasn't a fan of having someone else blood on him. He hurried to the bathroom to wash it off. 

When he came back out, he looked towards his kitchen, the coffee mug still sitting on the counter. He threw it out, the coffee cold. He yawned, it was 1:56am. He lazily walked towards the coach and grabbed a blanket from the table- he had forgotten to put it back- and crawled onto the coach, not caring about the slight wetness from Asano's cold body. He then fell into a restless slumber, deciding to deal with the Asano problem in the morning. First, sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied, all you get is a flashback, not shit. Sorry not sorry!!

Karma woke up tangled in the blanket he had draped over himself the night prior and a bit of dribble running down his chin. He hastily wiped it off with the back of his hand before sitting up and looking around. He was sure he was forgetting something. Something important- Asano!

He quickly scrambled off of his couch and practically sprinted to his bedroom, accidently hitting his hip on his table, making him wince in pain. Once he made it to his bedroom doorway, he breathed a sigh of relief. Asano was still there. He didn’t know what he would have done if he had decided to hightail it out of there. But it seemed lady luck wasn’t fully on his side, as the boy in question was still unconscious.

Well, there wasn’t much he could do if Asano wasn’t awake, so he decided to go make himself a fresh cup of coffee, as he hadn’t gotten the chance to enjoy one, what, with the events that took place. He supposed he just had to wait and hope for the best.

Once he had finished his coffee and washed his mug, he sat down and began thinking about the severity of the situation, as he was too lazy to do it last night. What had happened to Asano to make him look like that? Better yet, why was he here? It wasn’t like they were best friends, far from it. They both hated each other’s guts! Albeit, they had been spending more time together as of late, and had developed a somewhat…weird relationship but they definitely weren’t such good friends that they would randomly show up and the other’s house. Uninvited at that!

And what did he mean by “he didn’t know who else to go to”? Couldn’t he had gone to Sakakibara if he were in trouble? Or any of the five virtu- whatever his stupid group was called? Why was Karma of all people his first thought? Karma decided to think about that later, he had more pressing matters to think about.

When Asano eventually woke up, he would suggest going to someone else’s house. Maybe someone he would undoubtably be way more comfortable with. But what if he was too injured to leave? That gash would hurt like a bitch when he woke up, Karma knew. So, what was he to do? He would obviously have to keep him. Karma was pretty sure he had enough clothes that fit the male, and he had more than enough space, he had a spare room for a reason after all. He would have to go out and get more food, however. Karma rubbed his head. He hated planning for anything that didn’t involve assassination. It was just so… boring.

But he did know that the first and foremost thing he would do when Asano decided to wake up, was ask what exactly happened to him. He had never seen Asano look so shaken up before, and he was going to get to the bottom of it. Then he would confront said person and make sure that they understand that only he was allowed to do anything to the strawberry blonde. Then proceed to kick their ass. Yeah, that sounded like a solid plan.

Now onto the last problem, how was he going to wake up the male? He planned to leave him there and let him wake up naturally, but what if he didn’t wake up for another couple of days? Or a couple of weeks? Shouldn’t he seek medical attention? No, he would cross that bridge when it came. For now, he focused on the present. Right now. And right now, he was hungry.

* * *

Karma was freaking out. It had been two days since he had found Asano at his doorstep and brought him in and the male in question had yet to wake up. What was he going to do? He had school tomorrow! They both did! Karma stopped pacing, hand on chin.

Would it be ok if he left him here while he went to school? It wasn’t like he wanted to go to school, he would happily skip, but social services had been on his ass ever since the Koro-sensei incident, claiming that if he didn’t go to school, they would alert the authorities about child neglect and put him in the foster system. Like hell he’s be put in there. So, he had to go to school.

He assumed Asano would be fine, he only hoped he didn’t wake up while he was in school. Now that, would be a problem and a situation he did not want to be in. But he guessed some good could come from this. If the principal was there, he could ask him if he knew where his son was, and maybe ask him what happened on Friday. He sighed- he seemed to be doing that a lot- he guessed it would be ok for him to go to school tomorrow. He prayed that Asano would just wake up before then. But of course, nothing ever went his way.

That was how he found himself putting on his uniform while staring at Asano’s sleeping face. Weird, but he hoped that if he stared at him long enough, it would will him awake. It obviously didn’t work. He shook his head before leaving the house, taking extra care to lock the door. He hoped Asano would be ok while he was gone, what a weird thought.

If you had told him a week ago that he would actually care about Asano’s wellbeing, he would laugh in your face and call you a weirdo before walking away. But it was a reality now. Whatever, he had somewhere to be, so he forced himself to forget about all Asano related thoughts until later.

* * *

_Voices. Different voices. His father, he was shouting. His mother, she was…screaming? Everything was a blur, he couldn’t make anything out._

_Wait, there was one thing. What was it, what could he feel? Oh, that’s right, it was…pain._  
_He was in pain. Everything hurt. His head, his abdomen, especially his chest area. Where was he again? Why was everyone shouting? Why had it stopped?_

_He knew one thing for certain though, he had to get out of there. Go somewhere safe. More shouting, why wouldn’t they stop? Why wouldn’t the voices just leave him alone?_

_Why could he smell metal- no, not metal. Blood. He could feel it, the wetness of it on his chest, his hands, his head, his face… everywhere._

_He had to get out, but where could he go? Ren? Seo? Koyoma? Araki...No, they wouldn’t do. Karma? Yes. He was the one he wanted, the one he needed. He needed to get to Karma, he was the only one who could help._

_Pain, in his back. Searing pain spreading throughout his body like wildfire. What had happened? He was just beginning to get up. Now he was on the floor again. More screams. Who was screaming? Was it his mother? No- the screams were too low pitched. It was his._

_He felt it rip through his throat and wrack through the room, bouncing across the walls and echoing back at him. Why was he screaming? Why? Because it hurt. It hurt so much._

_But he couldn’t let it overpower him. He needed to go. To go to Karma. He could help. That was what his brain was saying, his heart, his gut. He intended to listen to them._

_He felt himself get up, the screams- his screams had stopped. His mother’s kept on going. He felt himself slowly creep towards the door. Towards freedom. He would come back for his mother, but first, he needed to get somewhere safe. Anywhere, no, to Karma. He was safe._

_Karma. Get to Karma. That was the only thing he could think of. He remembered seeing his address in his school file, he needed to go there._

_The biting cold of the winter wind was proof enough that he had made it outside. The snow that layered beneath his feet crunched as he walked. The screams faded as he walked further from his house._

_Everything went black. Then a glimpse of red. Karma? A baseball bat, Mercury eyes filled with… worry? Concern? It had been a while since he had those eyes directed at him._

_“I didn’t know who else to go to.” He heard himself say, as if he was detached from his body. Then, black once more. But, he felt surprisingly warm. Content. Happy. He felt arms wrap around him in a blissful embrace before he lost consciousness, succumbing to the dark recesses of his mind._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added some more tags, so if you don't like them, move along.

When Gakushuu woke up, the first thing he felt was pain. Pain in his head and a searing pain in his chest. His body felt heavy, like lead. The second thing he registered was that he wasn't in his own bed. He wasn't in his own bedroom. How he knew? His window was on the left side of his bed, not the right. His bedroom was _never_ this messy, he would never let it get to this point of untidiness. The clothes on him were not his own, the bagginess of the jumper on him showing that. He brought a hand to his face, feeling a plaster over what he assumed was a bruise.

He tried to call out, but his voice came out in a harsh whisper. Were his vocal cords damaged? But how? What had happened? Why was he here? Where _was_ here?

Gakushuu attempted to get up from the bed, but quickly sat back down, a shooting pain spreading across his entire body like fire. He could feel bandages around his waist and plasters all over his chest. He felt around some more, before hissing when he hit a part in the middle of his chest. Were those...Stitches? They were, and led from the middle of his chest to the right side of his neck. How in the world did he get such a wound?

He wanted to get up, to try and find out just where he was exactly, and if anyone was around. But it seemed his body had other ideas, forcing him into a lying down position. He felt weak...that was a first. A brief flash of panic went through Gakushuu, he was obviously severely injured. What if the person who brought him here had ill intentions towards him? How would he protect himself if he couldn't even stand upright? Tiredness settled inside of him, his eyes burning, his mind begging him to just sleep. But he couldn't. He wouldn't let himself. He needed a plan of action.

Gakushuu felt around himself, his hand enclosing on a handle underneath his pillow. He pulled it out from beneath his head, his eyes widening upon closer inspection of the item he had found. It was perfect. Outstanding. It was...a knife. He felt a bit better, knowing he at least had a weapon to defend himself if needed. He just hoped that when the time came to actually using it, he would be able to do some damage.

He put the knife back underneath him and finally settled down to sleep. He supposed a bit of rest to get his energy back would be beneficial in the long run, especially if he had to make a break for it. God, he hoped not. He could almost imagine the amount of pain he would be in if it came to that.

* * *

The second time Gakushuu woke up, it was still light outside. That, or he had slept until the next day. He chose the latter. He was feeling a bit better since the day before, actually being able to get up and take a couple of steps from the bed. His voice wasn't its usual strong and loud decibel, but it would do. He still felt weak and lightheaded, but he could deal with that later. He grabbed the blade from underneath his pillow before descending towards the door. He placed a hand on the door knob and stopped to psych himself up. 

Who knew what he would see on the other side of this door? Who he would see on the other side of this door. He raised his knife, ready to attack if necessary. His whole body creaked when he raised the knife, to his disdain. What the hell had happened to him?

He sucked in a breath, preparing himself for the inevitable, before slowly creaking open the door. It made no sound, good. Nobody and nothing was in front of him, only a corridor with a couple of doors and an open space up ahead.

He creeped forward, knife poised. When he had reached the first door to his left, he opened it, relieved to only see a bathroom beyond. A couple more steps, a door, a storage room. The other door, a guest room, it seemed.

Gakushuu quietly walked towards the open space and saw a kitchen to the left, clean and tidy. That surprised him. It seemed only the bedroom was the messy place. He looked to the left and saw a living room, the tv up on the wall with a dvd case next to it. A coffee table was in front of a couch that had a... red piece of fluff poking out? He quickly but stealthy walked towards the couch and looked over, surprised to see a sleeping figure on it. That must be his kidnapper.

Though, Gakushuu was surprised his kidnapper would take such care to put him in, undoubtedly his own bed and stitch up his wounds (that he probably inflicted, Gakushuu reasoned, how else would he have gotten them?). He circled around the couch until he was standing in between it and the coffee table. His captor had a pillow over their face, blocking him from seeing their true identity. From the build, the person was male, just great. He was also sure that if said person were to get up, they would be slightly taller than him. He cursed his height, one he never had a problem with since now.

Gakushuu steeled himself before slowly extending a hand and lifting up the pillow from the male's face. Surprise struck him, causing him to drop both the pillow and knife. His kidnapper was...A-Akabane? But how? Why? Nothing made sense! Why was he in Akabane's house? He had to leave, now. But where would he go. Something was telling him his own house wasn't safe at the moment. But when was it ever? Whatever, all he knew was that he needed to go before Akabane got up.

In his haste to leave, he hit his hip on the coffee table, right on a bruise. A cry left his lips as pain shot through his hips, and tumbled to the floor. He crashed to the floor, hitting his chest on the edge of the coffee table and feeling indescribable pain throughout his entire body.

A surprised yelp left Karma's lips as he woke up to the sound of something falling. When he looked down, he was surprised to see a groaning Gakushuu on the floor. How did he get there? Karma quickly dismissed the thought, the only important thing was that he was finally _awake_. And lying in a steadily growing pool of blood.

"Shit!" Karma cursed as he quickly manhandled Gakushuu onto the couch and sprinted towards his bathroom to grab the first aid kit and hurry back. It seemed that Gakushuu had fallen and somehow reopened his stitches.

Gakushuu felt like passing out all over again. He did the _one_ thing he didn't want to do. Alert Akabane of his presence!

Karma quickly but carefully removed his now blood-soaked jumper from the male and inspected the damage. Ok, he could fix this. 

"W-what are you doing?" Gakushuu stuttered as he saw Karma take out a needle. Karma looked up in shock. He had never heard Gakushuu _stutter_ before! Now this, was rare. He would have dwelled on the impossible feat he had accomplished a little more if Gakushuu didn't need to be stitched up right this second. On the other hand, Gakushuu was cursing himself for stuttering and looking undeniably weak in front of his rival. 

"Relax, I just need to stitch you together, unless you want to bleed out?" Karma raised an eyebrow at the strawberry blonde, making said male scowl.

They both sat in silence as Karma worked, Gakushuu wincing a little at the uncomfortable feeling of the needle piercing through his skin and the thread pulling inside his skin. It just made his already irritated skin even more irritated. When Karma finished, Gakushuu let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, Karma smirking up at him. The redhead got up and put away the first aid box In the bathroom before washing his hands and going back towards the couch. He picked up the pillow and...knife from the floor. He would ask Asano about that later, but first, answers to more important questions.

"Asano...are you ok?" Karma asked, albeit hesitantly. It was his first time asking if he was ok, and didn't want to scare the male off.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Gakushuu quipped.

"Well, four days ago you showed up at my doorstep looking like shit before collapsing into my arms, why else would you not be ok?"

Now that was news to Gakushuu. Why _had_ that happened? If that did truly happen, how did he get these wounds?

"If that happened, why do I have all of these wounds, and why would I come to you of all people, it isn't as if we are good friends or anything." Gakushuu inquired, looking at the redhead.

"I was kinda hoping you would tell me."

Both boys fell into an uncomfortable silence, both not knowing what to say next.

"If you don't know what happened to you, shouldn't you go back home? I'm pretty sure your parents would be worried about you." That was a lie. When Karma went to school, he didn't see the principal and no one knew where Asano was. He didn't know if his parents even _realised_ the boy was gone.

"NO!" Gakushuu suddenly shouted, startling the both of them. "No..." He said, quieter.

"No?" Karma asked. 

"I-I don't remember exactly what happened to me, but...I don't know...something's telling me not to go home." Gakushuu whispered, as if he were still thinking, which he probably was.

Karma understood. That was his gut, telling him not to go. Maybe even a survival instinct. He had a lot of those during his time as an assassin. 

"Well, you're welcome to stay here, but wouldn't you be more comfortable at one of your friends...?"

"Yes, that is true, but I think I should stay. If I came here, it must have been for a good reason." Gakushuu explained, Karma nodded.

"Ok, I have a spare room you can sleep in down the hall." He pointed towards the corridor Gakushuu had walked down when he first woke up, "I'm going to start preparing dinner." Karma said after a couple more minutes of silence.

"Wait!" Gakushuu grabbed Karma's arms, stopping him in his tracks and making him turn his head in question. "Why are you doing this? Helping me, I mean. It's not like we're on the best of terms, yet you are letting me live underneath your roof...why?"

Karma stayed silent for a while, as if he were contemplating the right answer. "I guess... it's because you have nowhere else to go."

Gakushuu let him go, allowing him to go to the kitchen to start prepping dinner. He had nowhere to go? What did he mean by that? Gakushuu looked at the back of the redhead who was humming while cutting up some spring onions. Maybe the famous delinquent really _did_ have a heart, contrary to the entire school's belief.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long to come out. School is biting my ass and I've been low on motivation. For once my insomnia came in handy because I'm writing this chapter at 3:25- now 3:26am. Just take this.

"You’re going to school?"

Karma looked up from buttoning up his shirt at the half asleep Gakushuu. He looked kind of cute, rubbing his eyes blearily in an oversized jumper (that was Karma's) and messy bed head. Karma quickly looked back down, the floor instantly becoming the most interesting thing in the room. Why the hell did he think his rival was cute? He really needed to get his thoughts under control. He took a deep breath and looked back up.

"Yeah. It's Wednesday which means I have counselling. If I don't show up, then I could be in some deep shit, so I have to go. Besides, the holidays are in two weeks, so might as well, right?" Karma explained as he threw on his black blazer.

"That’s not school uniform." Gakushuu annoyingly pointed out.

"Neither is that jumper."

"Unlike you, I'm not going to school."

He had a point, karma thought helplessly. He rolled his eyes at the strawberry blonde. He guesses he could Gove up that one, but only because he was trying to be a good host for the injured boy. If it was any other day, he would have destroyed him. At least, that was the excuse he gave himself. He picked up last night's homework from his desk and stuffed it into his bag before slinging it over his shoulder and proceeding towards his front door.

"Don't open your stitches while I'm gone." Karma called out as he opened the door.

"Wasn't planning too." He heard before he closed the door and locked it. 

The redhead began his trek towards Kunigigoaka school, his mind wandering. What _happened_ to Asano? It seemed he was asking himself that question every single day. He recalled last night, when both he and the male had dinner together. He had tried to ask again, but Asano just told him that no matter how much he tried, he couldn't remember a thing. The only thing he could go on was his gut feeling. Karma guessed that it was emotional and physical induced amnesia, as there was no other possible way, he could have lost his memory. The only other way he could think of was if he suffered from head trauma, but Karma had checked the night he cleaned his wounds and found no major damage. It was annoying not knowing what had happened, now how was he able to fix the problem and get Asano out of his house?

The male in question had been relatively quiet the night before, opting to get some studying done (the big nerd) and read some of Karma's books but Karma knew it was only a matter of time before the nagging side of Asano came out. He was counting down the minutes.

The boy finally made it to the front gates of the prestigious academy, useless chatter filling his ears. He couldn't wait for this day to be over. He'd probably leave after his concealing, no point staying any longer than he had to. He walked through the halls before going into his new class, A. Eyes immediately swivel to him when he entered, before leaving him. Everyone seemed in deep conversation and it didn't take a genius to know what it was about.

The mysterious disappearance of Gakushuu Asano was written on a whiteboard at the front of the classroom with Shion standing in front. Of course she would be the leader of this conversation, she was the leader of the Asano fan club after all. Also standing at the front were the virtuosos, looking entirely bored with the whole situation.

"Akabane, so glad you could join us, please take a seat. We only have 2 more minutes before class starts." She gestured to his seat at the back. He rolled his eyes before going to his seat.

"Now, back to what I was saying. Any more suggestions?" She asked the class.

"Perhaps he's sick?" Someone called out.

"Nope, once Asano had a really high fever but came in anyways, the guy's a monster." Seo commented, picking at his shirt.

"What if he overslept?" A boy with black hair asked.

"For 3 days? I don't think so." Ren rolled his eyes.

"Besides, do you really think Asano is the type to _oversleep_?" Shion asked, making everyone shake their head in agreement.

"Maybe-" The door opened to reveal the class A teacher making everyone grown and the teacher glare.

The virtuosos rushed to their seats while Shion quickly rubbed the whiteboard clean and went to her seat. _'Well, that was the end of that'_ Karma thought.

* * *

Karma absolutely _hated_ counselling. It was the worst part of the whole week, yet he was forced to go. Every week he had to sit in a room with this obnoxious lady who tried to get him to open up about what exactly happened during his time in 3-E.

"Karma! How are you today?" The woman, Yuna, asked.

"Fine."

"How are you feeling today?"

"Fine."

It was the same shit every week. He would come in, she would ask him how he was, then move on to questions about Koro-Sensei and how he was a "monster" who had "brainwashed" him. Karma didn't see the point in the therapy if it didn't even help him. Eventually the session ended, and he left, blocking out the bye Yuna enthusiastically called after him. He really wanted to kill her. If only assassination were legal.

As Karma walked down the hall, he passed the principal's office. A crash. He stopped, looking back over his shoulder at the door. Was someone in there? Another crash. He fully turned around, taking cautious steps towards the door. No one was meant to be in there. Yeah, they had a new principal, but he was only temporary. Besides, that door was locked, the only one with the key was Asano senior. He placed his hand on the handle. If someone was in there, that meant it was unlocked. He slowly pulled it down. What was on the other side of this door-

"What do you think you are doing?"

Karma removed his hand from the handle as if he were zapped and spun around. The new principal was staring at him with wide eyes.

"What did you see?"

"Nothing." Karma began to walk away, praying the principal wouldn't call after him. He didn't. Karma looked back before he turned the corner. The new principal was still there, but his eyes were transfixed on the spot Karma was previously. His expression was grim, his eyes wide and full of... was that fear? What was he afraid of? What was going on? What wasn't he getting? This all had to add up to something. Karma looked ahead at some students coming out of their classroom as the bell rang, signifying the start of lunch. When he looked back, the new principal was wrong.

* * *

"Is your dad hiding something inside his office?" Karma asked as he and Asano sat at the table.

Asano looked up and gave Karma a perplexed look as he momentarily stopped chewing on his katsudon. "Not that I know of...why?"

"No reason."

Gakushuu raised an eyebrow at the redhead but chose not to comment, thankfully.

"You remember anything yet?"

"No."

* * *

Gakushuu was slowly going crazy. He needed to do something, anything. While Karma was at school, he tried his best to occupy his time, but to no avail. He tried cleaning, but every room in the house was clean except for Karma's bedroom and he fathered not go and look through his stuff. Who knew what weird shit he would find in there. He tried studying, but for once, he just didn't have it in him. He tried reading, but Karma only had one proper book, the rest were comics. He laughed when he first saw the proper book. He didn't think Karma was the type to read books written by Shakespeare- especially something as sappy as Romeo and Juliet. He picked it up again anyways, Karma wasn't meant to come back for another 3 hours. He sighed; he was so bored. And his wounds ached. 

He looked at his face in the mirror. The bruise on his cheek was still purple and still stung when he touched it. That definitely wasn't going away any time soon. It kind of reminded him of the time his father hit him in front of his class. Now that, was a memorable moment. It felt good, seeing his father finally crack. No matter what anyone said, that slap was definitely worth it, he got to see him glitch and everything!

He came out of the bathroom- the bathroom the only place with mirror- and went to the living room to read the book on the couch. Halfway in, the door unlocked and footsteps were heard. Gakushuu looked up at the clock. Karma still had 2 hours and 45 minutes to go, no way was he back already. He was.

"Aren't you meant to be in school?" Gakushuu asked as he sat up from his laying position to look at the redhead.

"Fuck school." Was the only response he got, making him snicker.

When Gakushuu saw Karma again, he was wearing comfortable clothes and came to sit down next to him. He raised a brow at the book he was reading, making Gakushuu sigh. "It's your book, you can't blame me for reading it."

"True." Karma agreed.

"I think that's the first time we've ever agreed on something." Gakushuu chuckled. Karma smiled.

Silence. That happened a lot between the two. Not knowing how to fill in the gap. They were so used to only talking it one another when necessary. Albeit recently they had been talking more, but it was to either argue or give each other studying tips believe it or not. Well, arguing was the one thing they could do, then by all means, they would argue.

"This is the worst tragedy I've ever read. In fact, can you even call this a tragedy?" Gakushuu commented as he turned the page. Karma whipped his head around to stare at the strawberry blonde, making said male look up in question.

"What do you mean it isn't a tragedy? That’s one of the most classic tragedy's out there!"

"Yeah but let’s be honest, it isn't that sad."

"That’s not the point, Romeo killed himself for Juliet, then Juliet killed herself for Romeo. It sounds confusing but it’s true. Nothing speaks tragedy more than death."

"I beg to differ. Romeo and Juliet are basically horny teenagers who have a warped perception of love. Their "love" and stupidity are what led them to their inevitable deaths."

"Their love wasn't warped; it was love at first sight!"

"Don't give me that bullshit, Karma, love at first sight doesn't exist. You can't just look at someone and then fall in love, it's just not possible. You can feel attracted to them, sure, but unconditional love? It's nothing but shit that gullible, little girls dream about."

Gakushuu could have laughed. The expression on Karma's face was nothing short of offended. Needless to say, they had a heated debate for another thirty minutes before Karma stomped off to prepare dinner, leaving behind a cackling Gakushuu.

"It's the truth!" Gakushuu called after him.

"Shut up!" Karma shouted back.

Gakushuu chuckled to himself before picking back up the book. Despite the two being rivals, and he didn't want to admit this, but, Karma Akabane wasn't so bad company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the therapy Karma goes to will be expanded on later on. I've got a good idea for it ;)
> 
> I started at 3:26am and it's now 6:35am. That's how hard it was for me to write this tiny chapter. But now I have inspiration so hopefully the next chapter won't be as shit as this one.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can find the Hamilton reference I put in here, you're a real one.

Gakushuu flinched as Karma carefully dabbed at his multiple wounds before putting fresh plasters over them. "All right, it's all over," Karma said as he put his tools back into the first aid box. Gakushu breathed a sigh of relief. His minor scratches and bruises were throbbing. When Karma came back from putting the box in its original place, he went straight to the kitchen and started preparing meals for the two of them. But before he started, he stopped and looked over the strawberry blonde on the couch. He was reading Romeo and Juliet again. Karma wondered how many times he had read that book. He made a mental note to buy more books for him.

Karma jumped into his head and thought whether the idea was good, before deciding to it and see where it goes.

"Hey, do you want to bake a cake?

Asano looked up from the book he was reading before shrugging. He got up from his position on the couch and waited a beat before heading towards Karma. Said person smirked, this is going to be fun.

* * *

"Stop laughing at me, this is my first-time baking!”

“I’m not laugh-pfft!”

Gakushuu hunched over the bowl and slowly continued to pour the flour. Karma covered his mouth to cover his snicker, and Asano looked so stupid. No, not stupid. His eyes were narrowed in concentration, and his tongue was sticking out of his mouth for determination. He kind of looked, cute…

The redhead took out his phone and acted on his split-second decision to take a picture of the moment. He knew he was most likely to get hurt if caught, but he was probably able to outrun the male, His still sore wounds would slow him down.

'Click'

Gakushuu slowly raised his head from what he was doing, a short expression of fear adorned the redhead's face when he noticed he had forgotten to turn off the sound. "You'd better delete that.”

Karma looked up at the strawberry blonde and was ready to panic when he noticed the male holding a flour bag over his head.  
"uh… no?” Karma immediately regretted his choice in words because a pile of flour landed on his head and landed on his face, making him cough and splutter.

"you did not just throw flour at me.” He said as he would push his hand into the extra pack he put on the counter. In no time, he took a handful and threw it at the unsuspecting male, right in his face.

They both looked at each other, one was in shock, and the other had a mock challenge. Oh, it was on.

Karma grabbed the cake tin, blocked the flour zooming towards his face, and in turn threw a handful of flour. To his disappointment, the man he was currently at war with tilted his head and just about missed the white powder.

The next 20 minutes were complete madness. Karma jumped over the counter and took cover when the president threw flour, rapid fire. Gakushuu used a frying pan to stop the onslaught of flour that was thrown in retaliation. In the end, the two boys were breathing hard and covered from head to toe with flour. But although they had made a mess of both themselves and the kitchen, neither seemed to care if the crazy smiles they wore was anything to go by.

“How about I put the flour in, and you stir.”

"Do we still even have flour?”

"I… don't know, heh, I'll have to check.”

After the two successfully finished the batter, they levered the inside of the cake tins with butter, poured the batter, and put the two cakes in the waiting oven.

While Karma cleaned the counter that was covered with a thin layer of flour, aftermath of the war. Gakushuu watched the cakes bake for a while before standing upright and going to wash the dirty dishes that had piled.

"Well, akabane. Was the cake going to do it?" Gakushu" looked at the cake from the oven window and asked.

Karma heads to maturity and bends over to get the right view. The cake was up, but now there was a crack on it.

"Let's say this wasn't the way I planned it, but it's better than I wanted, so let's leave it and see how this works.  
"Have you ever made a cake?”

"Well, No.”

"I've never made a plan in the first place, so I was just flying by my pants seat.

"Well. Maybe I am.”

"am?” Gakushuu raised an eyebrow.

“...was?” Karma asked weakly. "Look, I've made cupcakes before, so I just thought it was the same.

The ripening put his face in the palm of his hand. For a very clever man, he could certainly say the best of things.

"They are both different! Sure, they have similar ingredients, but that doesn’t mean the result will always be the same!”

"I didn't know...? Karma asked, weaker than before.

* * *

After a little longer, they took out the cake, put it in on a cooling rack, and waited for it to cool down. Finally, they put the icing.

“That was… fun.”

“Yeah.”

They sat in silence a bit longer.

“Can we please get along, like we just did?” Karma asked, turning to face the male. “I don’t want to keep coming home from school, then have an uncomfortable atmosphere for the rest of the night again. What we just did, it was fun, I enjoyed it. After that, I don’t want to go back to not talking.”

Silence.

“Look, we’re kind of stuck together here, so we might as well make the best of it. Besides, I hate ignoring the person I’m meant to be on the same side as.”

More silence.

“Or you can just not talk to me…that’ll work.”

Karma looked at Gakushuu sadly before sighing and getting up. Gakushuu looked on at the redhead as he went back to his room. Why didn’t he answer? Oh well, there wasn’t anything he could do now. Might as well head to bed like Karma had.

* * *

_“I have told you time and time again, yet you still fail to deliver. You are my biggest disgrace.”_

_“Honey, please, go easy on him-”_

_“Who said you could talk?”_

_“I-”_

_“I’m sick and tired of your shit Kyoko, he is my son, so let me discipline him how I want.”_

_“He’s my son too!”_

_“Why do you always have to argue and defy my every word?”_

_“B-because, you can’t just expect things to go your way all the time! God, you annoy me so much sometimes…. It’s like, you’re a completely different person these days. Well, sorry to break it to you, honey, just because Ikeda offed himself doesn’t give you the right to-”_

_Slap_

_“St- ”_

* * *

“-op!” Gakushuu woke up, his bed and himself drenched in sweat. He gasped for air, he felt like he couldn’t breathe. What the hell was that?! Those voices, who were they? He felt like he should know… it was on the tip of his tongue.

What he did know, however, was that he didn’t feel safe. He felt something was coming for him, ready to take him away into the darkness. He needed something-no, someone. Just to stay with him.

He felt himself get up and pace the room a bit before opening the door that led to the corridor. His feet padded against the cold floor, he felt himself shiver. It was like that night all over again. He felt detached from his very being. But what night was he thinking about? What had happened to him? Frustrated tears leaked from his eyes and fell to the ground. Why was this happening to him?

He found himself outside Karma’s door, his breath labored. Should he really disturb Akabane just because he was scared? He was the student council president and the smartest student in kunigigoaka, he wasn’t scared…

…Fuck, he was so scared.

He slowly opened the door and crept inside, making sure to close it quietly behind him. Now that he was in the room, he found out that he didn’t know just what he wanted. Why did he come here again?

“Asano?”

The sudden call of his name startled him; he took some steps back.

“No, wait…I…” Karma tried to find the right words to say, but couldn’t find them.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have come here.” Asano muttered, turning. He needed to go. Now.

“Why did you come?”

Gakushuu stopped. Why did he come?

“I don’t exactly know… I was just… scared.” He was an idiot. A massive idiot. How could he admit to Karma Akabane, his enemy, a man he’s despised since the beginning, he was scared.

“Do you want to stay?”

Now that was surprising. Was he really asking if he wanted to stay the night with him? But he was because when Gakushuu turned back around, said male had already scooted the other side of the bed and had picked up the covers as a silent invitation.

He was crazy. Well, he guessed they were both crazy because he didn’t hesitate to jump into bed next to the redhead.

“Asa- Gakushuu, what’s wrong?”

Gakushuu didn’t know what it was. Maybe it was the way the moon shined through Karma’s open window and made a small light in the middle of the room. Maybe it was the way the slight breeze he felt from said open window made him shiver a bit. Maybe it was the way Karma’s room smelled of him. Or maybe it was because instead of calling him Asano, the name he so desperately despised, he called him by his first name. Gakushuu Asano broke down.

Fresh tears sprouted from his eyes as a choked sobbed ripped its way from his throat. Strong arms immediately wrapped around him and sweet nothings were whispered into his ear. A hand stroked his hair as he let the redhead embrace him.

Maybe this is what he needed afterall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is honestly just me wanting some fluff in this story. The next chapter is gonna be a rollercoaster, with a certain principal making an appearance :o


	6. Chapter 6

When Gakushuu finally came to his senses, the first thing he registered was that he felt… warm. Safe. He obviously wasn’t in Akabane’s guest room, that room was the coldest room in the house. Not to mention that the warmth felt a lot like when someone gave you a hug. Body warmth. Well, whatever it was, he had no intention of moving. This was the first time in weeks he had felt this content.

Eventually though, he opened his eyes, light shining in through the window and momentarily making him see white. He blinked a couple of times, feeling himself pressed up against something. He felt behind him, a hand was on his back. He tried to move his head, stopped by a hand tangled in his hair. What the hell was happening?

Gakushuu wasn’t dumb, far from it. Yes, he may temporarily amnesic, but that did nothing to stop his brain from ticking in the right way. There was only one other person in this house apart from him. He looked up as much as he could with the hand in his hair, managing to look up until he saw the bridge of the others nose.

Slow, steady breaths were breathed into his face as his nose was filled with… spice? Yes, it was spice, he confirmed after breathing in Karma’s scent. Why did he smell like spice? Not that he was complaining. Did- did Akabane always have freckles? Tiny dots, practically invisible unless you were close enough to see and trying to look for, were littered across his nose area. He had never been this close to the male; he expected himself to feel uncomfortable. But instead, he felt at peace. Weird.

He had to leave before he woke up. His mind annoyingly conjured up the memory of what happened the last time he had tried to sneak away while Akabane was sleeping. Shut up, brain.

He slowly disentangled the hand buried deep into his strawberry-blonde locks and carefully slid out of the hand on his back. He exited the bed and watched as Akabane felt around for him. Cute. Taking pity on the redhead, he put a pillow in his place, Akabane happily accepting it. He looked at Akabane’s stand, it was 6:45am. He set an alarm for 7 for him before turning around and creeping out of the room- successfully mind you.

As he made his way to the kitchen to get a glass of water, he stopped in his tracks, thoughts of last night flooding his thoughts. Was that… a memory that he dreamed about? That meant slowly, he was getting his memories back. The question was, what had happened to him and his parents? Despite getting some kind of insight, he was still left in the dark. Should he tell Akabane? Maybe he could help decipher what exactly he dreamed about? No, he wouldn’t tell him until he got more information. No use worrying about something he didn’t even fully understand yet.

“Hey… you’re up.” Karma came in, yawning and pulling up his shirt to scratch his stomach. It was a statement, not question… he knew he was up.

“Uh, yeah.” Gakushuu answered, opting not to answer. It was still a bit awkward; I mean, they had slept together for god’s sake! They were barely even friends; how did they miss so many steps!?  
If Karma had remembered the ordeal from the night before, he either didn’t care of just decided not to mention it. Gakushuu was grateful for the latter.

They both acted as if it were a regular school morning. Gakushuu made the two breakfast while Karma showered and changed. Look at them, acting like they were a newlywed couple, one of them going to work while the other stayed home. Gakushuu shuddered at the thought. Even though he didn’t resent Akabane as much as before, the mere prospect of being in anything romantic with the male made him want to gag.

“When do you think I’d be able to go back to school?” Gakushuu as they sat over their bowls of cereal. It was a genuine question, he needed to know… if he stayed here, he’d go crazy for sure. He’s rather not ask Akabane for advice on what he should do, but he was the one who actually went to school, so he would have a better perception on what should be done, compared to him at least.

“Not now, we should probably wait till the debate about why you aren’t in school die down first.” Karma muttered.

“There’s a debate about why I’m not in school?” Gakushuu put down his spoon.

“What did you expect? You’re never not in school. Shion is in charge of the whole thing- I think she may have a crush on you.”

“Name me one person in that school who hasn’t had a crush on me at one point.”

“…Touché.”

“She’s also the president of my fan club, of course she has a crush on me-”

“Ok I get it; everyone is in love with you!”

Gakushuu laughed as Karma huffed and shovelled some of his cereal into his mouth.

* * *

Later that night, Gakushuu clambered into his bed, determined to stay there this time. No matter what he dreamed about, he would stay firmly rooted to the spot. He wasn’t weak. He didn’t need to be in the other’s arms. He was strong and independent. He was going to sleep and wake up right there.

* * *

_“Wait please!”_

* * *

Yeah, fuck that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short :'(


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some feels and discussions. Gakushuu tells Karma some of his memory has come back.

Isogai was having a good day that day. The sun was out and shining, and so was his smile. He clicked his pen, looking over the material given to him by his teacher. He absolutely _hated_ Pythagoras Theorem, but it wasn’t like he could refuse to do the work. Despite that, though, his mood wasn’t dampened at all.

“Hey! Sorry I’m late.”

Isogai looked up from his work, to see his long-time friend and recent boyfriend running up to him. He smiled up in understanding, motioning towards the seat in front of him. Maehara looked around momentarily before he got out his own study material. “Nice café you picked.”

Isogai was about to answer before his phone buzzed. He smiled apologetically at the male before looking at it.

“It’s…Karma.” He muttered in confusion. Why was _he_ of all people calling him?

“And that’s weird…?”

“The last time he called me was 4 months ago… when he asked me to bail him out of jail.”

Isogai sighed while Maehara chuckled and made a comment about Karma never changing before answering, albeit cautiously, putting the call on speaker.

“Hey Karma, what’s up?”

“Hey! Uhm I have a…weird question.” Isogai and Maehara gave each other a concerned look.

“Are you ok? Do you need help?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, just… do you have a collection of books?”

“Depends, what collection do you want.”

“Any will do, just a big collection.”

Maehara mouthed a why to Isogai. “Why?” Isogai asked, ever helpful.

“Oh! I just wanted to read s’all.”

“Ok, meet me at that new café that just opened up, the one near the school.”

Isogai hung up after saying his goodbyes and sighed once again. “Mind walking me to my house?” He asked hopefully at the blonde sitting across from him.

“You don’t even need to ask.” Maehara smiled. “But…?”

“No… maybe… call me later.”

(“Will this do?”

“Percy… Jackson, seriously?”

“You either take it or leave it, Karma.”

“Thank you for your lovely donation.”)

(“Hey Asano, look what your wonderful host got you~”

“Percy Jackson, seriously?”

“Hey, it was a take it or leave situation, be grateful I even got your stank ass anything you bitch.”

“Fair enough… And you and I both know my ass is the best ass you have ever seen so I don’t know why you even bothered commenting on it.”

“Can you just take the goddamn books.”

“Why are you getting so prissy? Are you mad because you’ll never have an ass as nice and beautiful and round and plump and lovely as mine?”

“If only your father could hear the way you were talking about something as vulgar as your own _ass_.

“My father _is_ an ass, and he won’t do shit.”)

* * *

It had been 5 days since Gakushuu had last slept with Karma and neither had decided to address the issue. The issue? Why Gakushuu was going there in the first place. Karma thought it was because he wanted to be near someone, after the obvious trauma he went through. Gakushuu thinks it’s because he just wants a warm body.

It was currently 1am on a Wednesday- Thursday morning… and Gakushuu was awake. After sleeping with Karma, even though it was only for 2 nights, he had gotten used to having a warm body next to him. Being alone in bed felt lonely, as if without Karma occupying the other side of the bed, it was an empty void of nothingness. He craved Karma’s touch. His breath fanning across his face…

Gakushuu hastily removed the thought from his brain. What he was feeling… it wasn’t… real. He most likely just felt feelings of gratitude towards the male, seeing as he _did_ help in when he needed help. He was just confusing his feelings of gratitude and, dare he say it, newfound friendship as love. Him? In love? Perish the thought.

But he supposed it would be nice; being in love. Maybe then he’d care about someone other than himself. He shouldn’t go to Karma’s room anymore. He could tell that he wanted to say something but thought better. Gakushuu was sick of being treated like fragile glass. Karma did good in acting like it, but no matter what way Gakushuu looked at it, he was obviously being cautious around him. Making sure not to say the wrong thing in case of triggering something.

He had to remind himself that Akabane was just another Class E delinquent and nothing more. But god, did he feel like something more.

Was he awake? He wanted to see him. Despite the conclusion he had _just_ reached… he wanted to see him. His mother had always said he should follow his heart more…

* * *

Karma slowly opened his eyes as he felt the bed beside him sink. With one eye open, he saw strawberry-blonde hair. This again? He didn’t know how much longer he could take of this without having an actual answer or reason. He wasn’t one for cuddling (He was but was too tough and prideful to admit it).

Though, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t mind it. Asano smelt… nice, weirdly enough. Like a fresh breeze, if that made any sense.

“So, why’d you come tonight?” Gakushuu visibly flinched.

He slowly turned to face the redhead next to him. Karma looked down a bit as Gakushuu looked up. The redhead couldn’t help but think Gakushuu looked weirdly innocent in that position. How ironic, given he was anything but.

“I… don’t know exactly. Guess I just wanted a warm body next to me.”

“So, you’re just using me for my body? Didn’t think you were the type. For the body part, not the using part.”

Gakushuu rolled his eyes.

“I have something to confess.” Karma creased his eyebrows but nodded.

“Some of my memory has been coming back to me, that’s the reason I came to your room. I think I just wanted some closure; you know?”

“Wait, your memory has been coming back?!” This was news to Karma. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Gakushuu shrugged; Karma narrowed his eyes.

“Well? You gonna tell me what you remember?” Gakushuu bit his lip but decided he at least owed him that much.

“Nothing visual, if it is then it’s really blurry. There are voices. My mother’s and my… father’s. They were fighting about… something. I think it was about me, why else would they fight? My mother is a very soft spoken person and wouldn’t speak up to my father unless it’s about me.

My father was shouting. I’m honestly surprised he was; he never shouts. He isn’t the type. He’ll get his point across by speaking calmly but with veiled insults. My mother started shouting too. It was so loud, it hurt my ears. I didn’t know what to do. Everything around me was dark, I could only hear voices. I was-” Gakushuu stopped himself.

“Scared?” Karma supplied.

Gakushuu whipped his head up to look the male in his eyes. Was he- was he _mocking_ him?

He wasn’t. His eyes were soft. Softer than he had ever seen them. It made him look serene, beautiful even. It was so unlike him. His trademark smirk was gone. His face held a sort of understanding. It was unnerving but also… comforting.

“Yeah.” He breathed.

“Now that I really think about it, it was probably about what happened before.”

“Before?”

“When you were in 3E and had gotten first place during the final examination. My father he… slapped me, in front of everyone. (“He did what?!”) It felt relieving, him slapping me felt like him finally telling me how he really felt about him. It was like I was finally seeing him lose his composure. Seeing the mask he wore crack.

“I think I’m seeing yours off.” Gakushuu snorted but didn’t deny. He would never usually reveal this to anyone, let alone to Akabane, but he felt at peace. He knew he could trust him.

“It took away some of the pressure too, if you think about it.”

“The pressure?”

“Yeah. I have so many expectations, so much things expected from me. From my father, mother, peers. I always have to be picture perfect. The second I get something wrong; I’m judged. It’s suffocating; I hate it. I just want to be able to make a mistake once in a while and not have everyone think there’s something wrong. If Koyama gets an answer wrong, the class lightly teases him for it but that’s about it. With me, they’ll think I’m sick, as if getting a single question wrong is the end of the world and not perfectly natural.

Sometimes I want to be me, without having anyone judge me. I don’t want to be perfect. I want to make mistakes and joke about it with my friends. I don’t want to devote my life to studying. I want to be… free.”

Karma didn’t know what to say. That was a lot of baggage for a 14 year old.

“I don’t know what to say, but if you really want advice then… just don’t give a shit. Who cares what other people think? Be yourself.”

“If only it were that easy.” Karma had to agree, he couldn’t just drop everything. He absentmindedly pulled the violet eyes male closer to him making said male give a small smile.

“What about you? I just spilled my guts to you, the least you could do is spill yours.”

Karma sighed but knew this was coming. He just couldn’t help researching every little thing, could he?

“What do you want to know?”

“Where’s your parents? I know they aren’t around but...?”

“They travel a lot. They used to take me with them but then left me here when they deemed me old enough to take care of myself. I was 9, mind you. They used to send me postcards every month and leave me a message on the phone on my birthday for 3 years before they suddenly stopped coming. Over time I stopped caring.”

When Karma stopped talking, Gakushuu gave him an annoyed look. “That can’t be all.”

Karma sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “This is harder for me than it is for you.”

Karma raised an eyebrow at that. “How so?”

Gakushuu smirked. “I have to listen to you be all sappy and shit while you talk about your parents. It hurts me just as much as it hurts you.”

Karma scowled; Gakushuu giggled.

“In every postcard… they would send me a picture of them posing in front of something. But I never paid any attention to the background. It was their faces, their smiles to be exact. They both looked so happy. I couldn’t help thinking that if they were that happy without me there, then they really didn’t need me. And that… stung. A lot.”

Gakushuu watched Karma sadly. “Before they left for good, they would argue… about who would take me. At first, they didn’t want to leave me on my own and told the other to do it. In the end they just left me by myself. They couldn’t be bothered to keep me. It isn’t like they’ve forgotten about me though. They still send me money every month and pay the bills for this house. It still feels like they don’t care though.”

“After the moon incident, the school recommended therapists to all of my class. The school then proceeded to find out that I was living by myself- which is illegal for a 14 year old. Told my parents and made them come home. Told them if they kept neglecting me then they’d take me away and call the police. They still come every two months to check up on me. I just tell them my parents are at work.”

“That must be shitty.”

“It is.”

“Guess we both have shitty parents.”

“Haha… yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some feels. On word this was 6 pages and I was so proud because I wrote a lot but on here it looks like nothing :'(


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma sticks up for Asano and the principal calls him to his office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha help me.

“Where is Asano?!” Shion shouted, making Karma sigh. This had been going on for way to long. Maybe it was the fact that he knew Asano was safe and sound, or that he was really starting to get sick of Shion’s voice, but the “meetings” the class held _every_ morning was starting to grind on his nerves.

“Maybe he’s been kidnapped?”

“No way, he would easily be able to get himself out.”

_‘He’s human too, you know. If he was kidnapped, I doubt he’d be ok.’_

“Maybe he went overseas to participate in a competition, like last year!”

_‘Don’t you think he would tell us in advance?’_

“What if he just… didn’t want to come to school?” Oops, he didn’t mean to say that.

“Don’t be silly Akabane,” Haruhi laughed, “Why would Asano not come to school?”

“Maybe it’s because he’s in hospital?” Someone piped up.

“Or maybe it’s because you guys put too much damn pressure on him.”

The class went silent at that.

“Think about it. If it was anyone else that was absent, you wouldn’t bat an eye at it, not really. Yeah you would be a little concerned, but you wouldn’t hold daily meetings _just_ to brainstorm where they were. Even when he isn’t here, all you guys worry about is what he’s doing. If it were me, I’d feel pretty suffocated.”

“Ugh, not everything is about _you_ Akabane.”

“Shut up, Suki, he has a point.”

“Yeah… he does.” Shion muttered. “Ok, meeting’s done, I don’t know about you, but I’ve decided to trust Asano.”

A collective of nods were seen inside of the classroom as Shion wiped down the board in silence. Probably in shame.

Ren looked back at Karma from his seat in the second row thoughtfully before turning to answer a question Seo had stupidly asked him. As if he used a skin care routine, his face was naturally flawless!

Matsui Sensei decided that it was the time to finally show up and get class over with. Karma slumped in his seat. He had definitely said too much. But maybe… it was a good thing.

* * *

“Hey Akabane, wait up!”

Karma looked up from his phone. He wasn’t allowed to use it on school grounds but since when was he one to listen to school rules? Exactly.

“What’s up, minion No.1?” Ren gave him an unimpressed look at the nickname but decided to dismiss it, for now.

“Thanks for taking care of him. Asano, I mean. I’m not gonna ask where he is, or how you guys got so close. But thanks for making sure he stays safe.”

“Wha?”

“Heh, it’s a first for me to see you look so confused.”

“How and when?”

“Well, I knew when you talked about the thing about the class pressuring him. I remember him telling me something when he got that math answer wrong in class. He told me how much he hated the class’s reactions to him making a mistake, and, I’m not dumb. I can read between the lines.”

“Damn, Sakakibara, you aren’t as stupid as I thought.”

“Hey! You’re one to talk.”

“What do you mean by that.”

“Well, all of my thinking was only a theory. A hunch. It was confirmed when I saw your phone wallpaper.”

Karma raised an eyebrow as he turned on his phone before sighing. He deserved that one. His wallpaper was literally Asano drooling on his pillow, and everyone knew that they weren’t on good enough terms to be having _sleepovers_ together.

“I walked straight into that one… didn’t I?”

“Yep.”

“Well, I’m gonna leave, nice talking to ya.”

As Karma walked away, he started to re-evaluate his decisions. One of them being to change his phone wallpaper. Was he really being that obvious that Sakakibara found out? Luckily no one else caught on, but him knowing was already one too many. He needed to be _way_ stealthier.

“Ah Akabane, there you are.”

Karma turned to see the class B teacher.

“The principal was looking for you.”

_‘Oh boy.’_

That was what he thought as he walked through the halls of his school. That was what he thought when he opened the door to the lion’s den. That was what he thought when he saw exactly _who_ was on the other side of said door.

The principal was there, but he was standing next to the desk. He wasn’t someone worthy of his fear. Someone who _was,_ on the other hand, was the person actually sitting on the principal’s seat. Gakuhou Asano, in all his glory. But his presence wasn’t what made Karma gulp and sweat slightly more than usual. It was the cut on his cheek and the menacing aura he was producing. Ok, maybe it was also his presence. He was scary, ok?!

Karma narrowed his eyes at the cut- well now scar- on his cheek. It wasn’t big, it was more like a slit and was on his right cheekbone. It must have been done with a piece of glass. Didn’t Gakushuu mention something about glass that morning?

“Akabane, good to see you again. I trust you have been keeping up with your studies?”

“Yeah.”

“Hmm” He hummed, watching Karma intensely. What was his problem. Did he have something on his face?

“Well, I won’t beat around the bush then. Where is my son?”

Now that, took Karma by surprise. Why would his father think he knew where his son was, of all people? Like he said before, him and Gakushuu weren’t on such friendly terms that they knew about the other’s whereabouts.

“Why would you think I knew where he was?” The ex-principal studied the redhead for a few seconds before answering.

“Because out of everyone in this school, I believe you would be the most likely he would go to.”

“And why would you think that?”

“Because as Asano was trying to pathetically crawl away from me that night, he was muttering your name. Bare in mind that he was bleeding quite heavily, and his mother was in obvious distress, so I find it hard to believe you, of all people, would be on his mind at that moment of time.

Karma flinched, hard. The ex-principal’s smile widened.

“But you already knew he was bleeding heavily, didn’t you?”

_‘Sick bastard’_

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, sir.”

The principal’s smile faltered before falling completely.

“You are playing a dangerous game, Akabane.”

“I don’t know what game you’re talking about, sir.”

“What you are doing is technically illegal, you know. Kidnapping is no joke.”

“Kidnapping means when you take someone against their will. I didn’t take Asano against his will-”

“So you admit that you took him in.” A statement, not a question.

“You didn’t let me finish. At least, that would be the case if Asano came to me.”

The principal’s lips twitched in irritation.

“Akabane-”

“With all due respect, sir, I don’t know where Asano is and the idea that he would even think about coming to me is absurd. We’re rivals, not best friends. Sorry I couldn’t help you. Now if you’d excuse me, I have a lesson to attend.” Karma gave a curt bow before turning on his heel and heading towards the door. As he opened the door to exit he turned to look back at ex-principal.

“By the way, that’s a nasty scar you got there. Be careful in the future, kay?”

Karma left, shutting the door with a small click. As he walked away, he felt as if he had just defied death. Yeah, he decided that was an accurate description.

* * *

“I saw your father today.” Karma told Gakushuu as he sat down to eat the fried rice he cooked.

“Really? What happened?”

“Well, he called me to his office and asked me where you were, which, weird because as far as everyone else knows, we’re rivals. No more no less.”

“I suppose our relationship is more than that, now.”

“You literally drool on my arm as you sleep next to me. In the same bed. In a shirt and boxers.”

“That was one time, Akabane; I was hot!”

“Hell yeah you were.” Karma winked; Gakushuu turned pink.

This was happening more often than not. They would be talking, then one of them would flirt. Gakushuu didn’t know what their relationship was anymore. He doubted he could define it in one word anymore. It was like defining Akabane’s personality in one word. Impossible.

They were rivals, sure, but they were arguing less and less, which Gakushuu decided was a good thing. They weren’t friends either, friends didn’t sleep together and flirt with each other. They definitely weren’t lovers, so what where they?

“Anyways, I managed to evade any further interrogation, because, well, I’m amazing.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“He also had a cut on his cheek.”

“Must have been when my mother threw glass at him.”

“Your mother threw glass at your dad? And is still alive?”

“Who knows if she’s still alive. I definitely wouldn’t be if you didn’t open up the door to me. And yeah, I remembered it while you were in school.”

Oh yeah, that’s right. If he hadn’t opened his door, what would Asano have done? His injures were way too serious for him to just leave, not to mention that it was snowing. He really could have died. It was a scary thought. Sure, at the time Karma couldn’t have cared less about the strawberry-blonde, but it wasn’t like he wanted him to _die_.

“How are your wounds, anyways?”

“Most of them have healed fine, though some have scarred. The stitches would need to come out in a couple of days though.”

“I’ll take them out for you on Saturday.”

“Thanks.”

They ate in silence for a while before Karma looked up again.

“Where do you think your mother is?”

“I… don’t know. But I plan to look for her once I can go outside.”

“Doubt that’s going to be for a while.”

“Why’s that?”

Karma got up and went over to the chair that he flung his bag onto when he had gotten home and rummaged around in it a little before taking out a piece of folded paper and making his way back to the table. He handed the paper to the male, motioning him to open it.

Gakushuu did, stifling a laugh as he saw the contents on the page. His picture was at the top with the words ‘MISSING’ in caps underneath.

“Found that on the classroom door today.”

“Jesus Christ, they are all so extra.”

“Haha, yeah… oh that reminds me, Sakakibara knows I’m taking care of you.”

“He what?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it just me, or is this story being dragged out? I feel like the pace is too slow. I know this is meant to be a slow burn but I feel like it Is too slow. Is it ok?


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the angst you've been waiting for (Or dreading, either one honestly).

Sleeping in the same bed as Gakushuu was, to say the least, weird. At least, it was for the first couple of nights. It had been 2 weeks since the first time they slept in the same bed, and Karma had gotten used to having a person filling the space next to him.

But he had to focus, there were more important things to think about. He _had_ to find out what happened to Gakushuu, but didn’t know how, what, with the male in question having amnesia. He felt like he was a broken record, repeating the same thoughts again and again and again. Yet he still hadn’t gotten to the bottom of it. He was finding out, and he was finding out _today_.

“Hey Akabane, we’ve run out of milk-”

“I need to talk to you.”

Gakushuu gave Karma a weird look before sighing and making his way to the towards the kitchen island.

“About what?”

“You’re amnesia.”

“Look, I’ve already told you that if I remembered anything, I’d tell you-”

“BUT THAT ISN’T ENOUGH ANYMORE!” Karma all but shouted, startling the strawberry-blonde and causing him to flinch. Karma sighed, he wouldn’t get anywhere by shouting.

“I’m sorry for shouting, it’s just, it’s been over 3 weeks since you woke up, and in that time you can barely remember a thing. Only voices. It’s honestly starting to stress me out. I already told you that you can stay here for as long as you want, but don’t you think this has been going on for too long?”

“Of course, it’s all about you.”

“What?”

“You think that _you’re_ stressed out? Well think about how I feel! Imagine not remembering what happened on what seems to be one of the most important days of your life! Imagine hearing your mother’s screams yet not knowing what happened to her! Imagine waking up every single fucking night because you get nightmares filled with the angry shouts of your father! It’s torture for me, not knowing what happened to my family, yet you want to talk about _stress?_ “

_‘Shit’_ Karma thought. Asano was right, he was just being selfish. But Asano was far from done.

“Asano-”

“Fuck, I’m so scared.”

Karma stopped in his tracks. Scared? What did he mean scared? Of what?

“Of what?” Karma asked.

“Of everything. This whole situation. I’m scared that my mother isn’t ok. I’m scared that my father has finally cracked and gone full psycho. I’m scared he’s gonna find me. I’m scared you’ll kick me out. I’m afraid that I may never get my memories back. But above all that, I’m angry! I’m angry that this has happened. I’m angry because I have to miss out on seeing my friends at school because I’m meant to be in hiding. I’m angry that you only think about yourself. But more so, I’m angry at myself. That I was so weak. T-That I couldn’t do anything. (A glistening tear ran down his pale face) I couldn’t protect anyone. Not my mother or myself. In the end, I had to rely on you to take care of me, and I hate that I’m appearing so weak to you!”

Silence.

That seemed to be happening a lot lately.

Gakushuu breathed heavily as more tears escaped his eyelids as Karma watched on in guilt. He was such a dick. He was being selfish, a coward, only thinking of himself and not realising that Gakushuu was hurting all this time. But of course he was! Karma wouldn’t know what to do if something was to happened to the people he cared about. Gakushuu… he was strong. Stronger than anyone he had ever met. And he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to acknowledge it. He took a step forward. Gakushuu took a step back.

“You’re right. You’re absolutely correct.” That sent Gakushuu reeling. Akabane? Admitting to his mistake? Blasphemy.

“I was wrong. I was selfish and inconsiderate of your feelings. I’m not going to lie to you and say that I understand because I don’t. (He took another step forward. Gakushuu took another step back, but smaller this time) You’ve been through hell and back and I haven’t acknowledged that, when I should of. I guess I’m just worried about you. I’m worried that if this keeps up, you’ll never find out about what happened to you.”

“That’s not true! Y-You only want to know to quench your curiousity. You don’t a-actually care!”

“I admit that I am curious, but I’m willing to look past that for your well-being.”

Karma took a step forward. Then another. Gakushuu stayed still. Karma stopped when he was right in front of the male, hesitating before touching his arm. Gakushuu looked up at the redhead, his violet eyes glistening from his fresh tears.

“It’s… It’s ok to be afraid.”

Gakushuu let a choked sob be wrung from his throat before Karma pulled him into his arms and held him close. Closer than he held him in bed. Closer than he ever had. Gakushuu tried to push him away, to get away but Karma kept him close until the male relented and let himself be held. It hurt them both, fighting like this.

A year ago, they relished this. The fights and arguments and disagreements they would frequently get into. They loved watching as they chipped away at the other’s defense until they left them only as an empty shell of their former self. The look of defeat and glassy look. Watch as their entire world crumbled at their very feet. They had never actually seen said expression on the other’s face, but damn did they want to. Now, it was like it caused the other pain just to see the other with a sad expression. Their relationship was complicated like that. But now, as they stood in each others arms, it was like the missing piece of the puzzle was fit together. This was what they had both been waiting for. It was like, after so long, they were finally accepted, as themselves. Not as a perfect leader, or a blood-thirsty delinquent. But as their inner self. The part of them they kept hidden inside their heart, locked with a key. They were opening themselves up to the other, nothing could ruin this. Absolutely nothing-

The phone rang, the name ‘principal’ written in big words on Karma’s screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little short, but hope you enjoyed nonetheless.


	10. Chapter 10

“You gonna answer it?”

“Do you want me to answer it?”

“…Do we even have a choice?”

“Probably not.”

“Then answer it and get it over with.”

Karma hesitantly pressed the green icon on the right side of his screen after wavering his hand over the red icon for more than 5 seconds. The two boys waited with bated breaths as the phone was connecting, before a voice that sent chills down their spines sounded from the speaker.

“Akabane, tell me where Asano is.” He wasn’t asking anymore, he was demanding.

“I already told you, I-”

“I have something to tell him regarding his mother.”

Gakushuu looked up from where he was picking at one of his scabs; violet eyes widened in shock. He shared a look with Karma. Karma immediately understood and shook his head; Gakushuu payed no heed.

He opened his mouth to speak, Karma barely making it in time and putting his hands on the strawberry-blonde’s mouth.

“Sorry sir, but you can’t tell him.” Karma called out as Gakushuu struggled to rip the hands away from his mouth.

“And why is that?”

“Because he isn’t here!” Karma removed his hands from Gakushuu’s mouth and lunged for the phone to end the call before Gakushuu could open his big mouth.

“Akabane, what the hell!?” Gakushuu raged. That may have been his one and only lead on how to find his mother, yet Akabane completely ruined it. He was done. He was officially pissed.

“What do you mean ‘what the hell’, I just saved you from being found out!”

Gakushuu stopped stewing in his thoughts after that. While it was true that him trying to talk to his father after going missing for several weeks was rash, he _had_ to know where his mother was. And it seemed that Karma understood the inner turmoil he was facing, as he shot him a sympathetic glance.

“I know you want to see your mother, but you can’t risk being found out. We’ll find her.” Karma promised, looking at his phone as he got a notification.

“Or maybe we don’t need to.”

Gakushuu looked at Karma questionably as said male was staring at his phone. He made his way over to him and looked at the phone. A hospital address along with the visiting times… His mother’s location!

Gakushuu wasted no time as he went to hastily put his shoes on and coat.

“Asano wait!” Gakushuu stopped just as he was tying his shoelace.

“Calm down!”

“Calm down? I finally know where my mother is, I’m going to see her.”

“Look at the time.” Gakushuu looked up at the clock on the wall… he supposed it was a little late. Karma walked up to him and began guiding his coat off of his shoulders.

“Visiting times are between 5 and 7, you wouldn’t make it in time. I know you want to see your mother right now, but it would be best to see her tomorrow. I have no school tomorrow so I could even come with you! So calm down, ok?”

Gakushuu sighed but agreed, kicking off his shoes and letting Karma guide him to the couch.

“Besides, seeing as we have plans tomorrow, I have to take out your stitches tonight.”

* * *

Gakushuu hated the familiar feeling of stitches, of the thread being pulled through your skin. But he trusted Karma not to hurt him intentionally. What a thought to have. He had been having more and more positive thoughts about the redhead these days, he supposed as he looked down at him working away at his chest. His tongue was sticking out in concentration and his eyes were narrowed to increase precision. He admittedly looked really cute with his face scrunched up like that, and to Gakushuu’s surprise, his mind didn’t immediately banish the thought. He guessed he really was beginning to become accustomed to the delinquent.

“Your other little wounds have healed up real nicely, you can barely see most of them. After I finish with these stitches, your big wound will hopefully heal with no other problems, though like I said before, it definitely will leave a scar-”

Karma looked up from the stitches to Gakushuu, only to have his lips assaulted by another pair. Gakushuu pulled away just as fast as he had gone in, Karma barely registering anything. He looked at the male in front of him as the other looked away with a growing blush. Although Karma had barely registered anything though, he knew what he had to do. He placed a hand on the nape of the strawberry-blonde’s and pulling him towards him.

There were no fireworks. There was no spark. Nothing that the story-books and fairytale’s stated would happen when you kissed someone you liked. But god, did it feel right. The kiss didn’t last for more that 10 seconds, but it was like 10 seconds in heaven. They broke apart, neither saying anything as they breathed heavily. Karma may or may not have implemented some of bitch-sensei’s training but neither he nor she needed to know that.

Gakushuu prided himself on being able to hide his emotions through a carefully articulated mask, but the fiery blush that had settled on his face was enough to tell everything he was thinking. Karma smirked up at him before turning his attention back to the male’s stitches.

“Why’d you do that, hmm?” Karma asked after a minute.

“I guess it was like a thank you.”

“A thank you? For what?”

“For helping me out. You’ve done so much for me these past weeks. You’ve given me a bed to sleep in, food to eat, tended to my wounds, stopped me from doing dumb decisions like telling my father where I am and going to see my mother after visiting times, comforted me after my nightmares, been _mostly_ supportive of my amnesia and allow me to seek warmth in your bed. So yeah, this is a thank you for that. I’m grateful, Akabane.”

“We just kissed, Gakushuu, stop being so formal and call me Karma.”

Gakushuu giggled, a sound Karma would never forget.

“As you wish, Karma.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so, during Quarantine I've been reading some pretty damn good fics. So I was like, why not give other people who don't have anything to read, something to read!
> 
> Don't follow instructions written in strange books from mysterious bookstores that don't exist by Gwendee.  
> It's a whole series and is about Karma summoning a demon (I think we can all guess who that demon is.) It's wholesome and funny but also serious but also fluffy, basically it's enough to toy with your heart.
> 
> Despanation by Shaladaze.  
> A fic about Gakushuu being kidnapped and class E searching for him, per principal's request. I absolutely loved this, but it hurts waiting for updates :')
> 
> There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin by livixbobbiex.  
> It's a Karma x Nagisa slow burn! I don't usually read that pair (they are cute but I rather Karushuu) but I loved this fic. I also usually stay away from slow burns, but this one was perfect. It pissed me off so much yet also made my heart melt, it's a literal rollercoaster and Nagisa pissed me off so much in this.
> 
> Lesson Learned by TheSteinsGateFormula.  
> Jesus Christ I love this so much. I literally squeal every time it's updated. I originally read it on Wattpad but found out it was also on Ao3! They also have another story on Wattpad that is amazing so I recommend checking that out to.
> 
> Well that's it for today, have a good rest of the day!


	11. Chapter 11

Gakushuu adjusted the cap on his head as Karma finished up tying his shoelaces. Despite what had happened the day before, the atmosphere between the two was normal - though that was because neither had decided to mention anything. The kiss was...surreal sure but, both males decided that it was better off not being mentioned. Not until they sorted out the task at hand, which was getting to Gakushuu's mother.

They both exchanged a look before going through the door, Gakushuu making sure to pull up his hood and Karma making sure his door was locked. Then they both set out, the hospital's address placed firmly in Gakushuu's hand. He was going to see his mother today. He was. No one was going to stop him this time. Not his father and not Karma. He would see her and finally get to the bottom of what exactly happened to him.

As they were walking, Gakushuu took in a deep breath of fresh air. After all, there was only so much air you could get from a window, and even then, it was nothing in comparison to actually be walking outside; he was beginning to loathe staying inside all of the time. It seemed that Karma had noticed this, smiling that smug smile that Gakushuu hated (he loved it) with a fiery passion. He rolled his eyes and scowled at the redhead, but only received a chuckle in response.

"Looks like this is it." Gakushuu sighed as they both stopped in front of Kamazaki Hospital, people filing in and out in an array of colours. They nodded at each other before stepping through the sliding doors, immediately going straight to the front desk.

A lady in her late 20's and a brown ponytail looked up at the two boys, sighing. She was really getting sick of this job. Apart from the special mission she was given, her job was the most boring thing ever. Yumiko blew woke hair away from her face, she was so bored!

"Hi, I'm looking for someone called Kyoko Asano?" 

"Name?" She asked boredly.

Gakushuu hesitated before answering, "Shuu... Akabane. My name is Shuu Akabane."

Karma looked up from looking down at the floor, a shocked expression on his features. Gakushuu desperately tried not to look in his direction, determined to pretend nothing ever happened. The woman looked at Gakushuu with her mouth hanging open, her eyes open in blatant surprise. Though, she immediately closed her mouth and looked away when she saw Karma give her a weird look. Was...was this the man she was said to look out for? She couldn't see if he had strawberry-blonde hair or not, what, with the cap and hood obstructing her view. But there was no mistaking those purple eyes. This was the male she was waiting for.

"R-room 24, up the stairs and to your right... 4 doors down..."

"Thank you." Gakushuu smiled pleasantly before turning towards the lift, Karma hot on his tracks. They both entered the elavator before pressing the button for the first floor.

Yumiko looked on until she saw the doors to the elavator close before quickly picking up the phone on her desk and dialing the number she was given. If he was really who she thought he was, then it seemed it wouldn't be long before she escaped her boring job as a receptionist and got to live the lush life she only ever got in her dreams!

"Hello?"

"Yes hello, I believe I have found the person you have been looking for.... Mr Asano."

* * *

"So, Shuu Akabane huh~?"

"Shut up, I had a lot on my mind and I was improvising!"

"Could the thing be on your mind... Akabane related?"

"What? Of course not!"

"You know, it's weird you decided to use my last name and your first name, you got something you want to say A-sa-no~?"

"Ha, you wish!"

* * *

The number 24 was written on a thin white door, that seemed to be staring menacingly at Gakushuu, as if daring him not to go inside. Karma placed a hand on his shoulder and offered a supportive smile; it was all he could give. This was something Asano had to do... On his own. Gakushuu took a deep breath in and prepared himself before slowly knocking on the white door and going inside.

The room wasn't special in any way, the only thing standing out in the stark white room was the vase of beautiful blue arachnids. Damn, maybe he should have brought flowers?

He looked towards the bed that was occupied by a blonde haired woman. Gakushuu felt himself choke on air, she looked...worse for wear. She had a heart monitor beside her with two IV lines, a mask over her face. She looked hollow, her cheekbones sharper; her face, pale. Gakushuu quietly stumbled towards her trying not to make a sound that could startle her in any way. Though it had seemed that she had noticed him, as her brown eyes landed on his purple ones.

"Mom?" Gakushuu muttered quietly. Her eyes widened, her hands going up to remove the mask as Gakushuu went to sit down next to her. Karma stood outside the doorway, he felt like this was a personal moment that wasn't for him to witness. Instead, he decided to call his long term friend, Nagisa. He was wondering what was going on between him and Kayano anyways. So, he left, making his way to a vending machine so he could buy a drink.

"Karma?"

"Yo Nagisa, whats up?"

* * *

"Mom...what happened to you?" Gakushuu whispered as he pushed back hair from her eyes.

His mother smiled up at him, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "Gakushuu...I'm so glad you're ok."

The two Asano's decided to catch up on lost time, talking about what happened while they were both away.

"It looked like you and that boy were close." His mother smiled as she played with a lock of his hair.

"Me and Karma? I suppose."

"You guys kissed yet?"

"Mom!"

His mother laughed, albeit weakly. "I can tell when my son has a crush on someone, you know."

"I don't have a crush on him!" Gakushuu spluttered indignantly.

His mother chuckled before fixing Gakushuu with a sad look. "Ok, so what's eating you?"

Gakushuu looked at his mother before smiling, nothing ever got by her, did it? Mothers intuition, he supposed.

"It's just... I don't know how to feel about Karma. Don't get me wrong, he's great. He is great company and great argument material. It's just weird because up to a year ago, I hated him a lot, and now I suddenly have a tiny crush on him? I only ever saw him as this delinquent and nothing more. But after spending time with him, I've noticed that he's so much more. He's someone who eats a diabetic amount of sugar, someone who can bake the best cookies I have ever tasted, someone who isn't afraid to take risks. We...kissed. Last night when he was helping me out with something. But we haven't talked about it since, and it's eating me up. Does he like me back or not?" Kyoko nodded understandingly, humming.

"Well, if you want my advice, I say go for it. If he really didn't like you back, then he would have kissed you in the first place. So I say take your shot." Gakushuu laughed and nodded along.

"Yeah ok, thanks mom."

"Anytime, now, what's _really_ eating you up?" This time Gakushuu knew, he couldn't continue hiding it from her. His curiosity. He wanted- no, _needed_ to know what had happened that night and get to the bottom of it once and for all. 

"Mom... What happened that night?"

* * *

"Ok so hear me out... Let's say you were enemies with this person. You've always hated this person, until something happens that ends up with the two of you spending more time than you ever would with each other. You notice things about them, like how they hate sweet things but loves cooked. Like how they scrunch up their nose when something happens in their dreams. Like how when they smile, the whole room lights up. Then, you kiss them and it feels so right but at the same time, you don't know what to think. Do you think they like you...or are only going along with it out of gratitude for spending time with them?"

"Did he kiss back?" Kayano asked as she sat next to her blue haired boyfriend.

"Yes, yes he did."

"Then there's nothing to worry about! I'm sure you and Asano will work it out anyways."

Karma blanched."Wait, how did you know I was talking about me and Asano?"

"You weren't exact subtle Karma, you would send pictures of him sleeping on your arm at least once a week on the 3-E groupchat. Even Teraska has figured you two out!"

"Damn, that obvious huh?"

"Look Karma, Asano wouldn't kiss you back if he didn't like you, so just go for it!" Nagisa sighed, playing with Kayano's hair as she laid in his lap.

"He kissed me."

"HE KISSED YOU?!" Kayano screeched, jumping up and causing Nagisa to jerk back.

"Well, yeah."

"Then why the hell are you worried?! If he kissed you, then it's obvious that he's into you! He should be the one having a crisis, not you."

Huh, she was right, why was he freaking out?

"Thanks guys, I better go check on him."

"No problem, call anytime!" Kayano laughed.

"Unless it's about me getting you free gelato, don't you dare do that to me again." Nagisa warned before hanging up.

Karma snickers, he was so calling him tonight. He walked back to room 24, hesitating before opening the door. Gakushuu had a hand over his mouth as his mother had tears streaming down her face.

What exactly had happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't get how people can write long ass chapters. I could barely write this chapter out without getting incredibly bored. Yeah...I get bored real easy.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it guys, the moment you have all been waiting for! So get your pitchforks and knives ready, cause we about to attack Gakuhou for hurting our baby Shuu!

_Kyoko Asano was sat at the kitchen table with her husband, reading through some documents that were delivered in the post that morning as her husband did some of his paperwork across from her. She was as content as could be; the sun was long gone, making way for the moon that was shining in through the curtains, her husband wasn't trying to cause any fuss and her son was upstairs in his room, no doubt studying like the hardworking student he was. That is, everything was content until a cloudy expression took over he husband's face, waves of anger oozing out of him in a perpetual sea of madness and thinly conceived bloodlust. That wasn't good, it never was. The papers in his hands was slowly being crumpled as his hand formed a fist. His eyes turned a dangerous shade of purple, his left eye twitching and his mouth pressed into a frown. He was angry but was trying to hide it; Kyoko knew better._

_"Asano, get down here now." Gakuhou called, making Kyoko sigh. Of course the reason for his anger was their son's fault. Moments later, footsteps were heard on the steps before Gakushuu came into the kitchen, his hair tousled and with shorts and a thin, wool jumper on._

_"What is it now, father?" Gakushuu asked, his eyebrows furrowed in annoyance._

_"Don't take that tone with me, boy." Gakuhou said, sending chills down both her and Gakushuu's spines. Gakuhou's voice wasn't raised, but that didn't make it sound any less threatening. He only put on that tone of voice if he was really angry about something. What had Gakushuu possibly have done to warrant such a reaction? Kyoko briefly looked at the papers still scrunched in her husband's hand wearily._

_"Last year, 3E took the top 50 positions, one of those being your first place position. I decided to overlook it once, seeing as they had a literal superbeing teaching them god knows what at the time. After what happened last time you got anything less than first, I assumed you had learnt your lesson, especially after we had that talk with your mother. So imagine my surprise seeing you in, dare I say it, third place. Beaten by Sakakibara no less! So, I want an explanation and I want it now." Gakuhou demanded, slamming down the papers in his hand on the table, which turned out to be Gakushuu's test sheets._

_Gakushuu took a deep breath to calm himself, something that didn't go unnoticed by his perceptive mother. "As you already know, I had to take two weeks off of school so I could attend my basketball tournament in England. In doing so, it is obvious that I had missed a fair amount of schoolwork that was important to the test. I had tried my best to cram as much as I could but cramming in two weeks of work in only one week isn't as easy as it sounds, father. If anything, the score I got despite missing so much school is a good one, especially considering there are people who didn't go to the tournament and still got less than me."_

_Gakuhou's eye twitched once again, making Gakushuu narrow his eyes. Did he say something wrong? He was sure he gave his father a plausible excuse on his low scores._

_"Do you really think the scores you got are satisfactory?" Gakuhou asked quietly._

_"Don't get me wrong, father, I'm not proud of my scores either, but given my circumstances, yes, I am satisfied with my score."_

_The look Gakuhou sent Gakushuu made him flinch, purple eyes boring into his very soul. Looks like no matter what he said, it wouldn't stop his father's upcoming wrath. He just hoped he didn't do anything drastic and lock him out of the house for a day again. He'd rather not show up at Ren's house at this time of night._

_"You are no son of mine."_

_Gakushuu's head snapped up to meet his father's eyes as Kyoko gasped in shock, a hand placed around her mouth._

_"What?" Gakushuu bit out, his eyes wide._

_"You heard me. No son of mine would admit defeat that easily."_

_"Defeat? What defeat? I wasn't even competing with anyone! I talked with Akabane and he agrees that his win this time didn't count because of my circumstances, so tell me, who exactly was I competing with? Certainly not Ren!"_

_"It doesn't matter whether you are competing with someone or not, you not getting first is an insult in itself. Not only for you, but also to the Asano name."_

_"I don't understand, going to the tournament was your idea anyway, so why are you shifting the blame on me?"_

_"I only mentioned it because I thought you would still hold your place even when missing school. It seems I overestimated your competence. It is obvious that you are not fit to be a leader, as leaders know how to multitask and get the best results." Gakuhou said coldly._

_Gakushuu reeled back as if he had been hit. Kyoko looked between the two before standing up. "Ok, maybe you are taking this a bit too seriously-" One look from Gakuhou made her clasp her lips shut and sit back down. It was obvious that she wasn't welcome in the conversation happening right in front of her._

_"I have told you time and time again, yet you still fail to deliver." Gakuhou shook his head and rubbed his temple while shaking his head, "You are my biggest disgrace."_

_Kyoko winced as she looked over at her son, who looked the most dejected she had ever seen him. All he wanted to do was make them proud, yet her husband wasn't making it any easier for him. She had to say something, to stick up for him. He was her son, after all._

_"Honey, please, go easy on him-"_

_"Who said you could talk?" Gakuhou asked as he sent a glare towards her, making her expression go from slightly scared to shocked in a split second. Did he...did he really just say that to her?_

_"I-"_

_“I’m sick and tired of your shit Kyoko, he is my son, so let me discipline him how I want.” Gakuhou growled, making both Kyoko and Gakushuu flinch simultaneously. But Kyoko refused to be silenced._

_"He's my son too!"_

_“Why do you always have to argue and defy my every word?”_

_That was it, that was the last straw. How dare he speak to her like that! She didn't care if she was her husband, she didn't care that if he so wanted he could stop her from having any social life or a decent waged job with a few phone calls, she was aware that if he wanted, he could take Gakushuu- the one person she would happily risk her life for- away from her. She loved him, she really did, but enough was enough. She was sick and tired of him breaking apart her family! She wanted to hurt him; break him, just like what he did to her and her son. And she knew_ exactly _what to say to twist the knife already in his heart...deeper._

_“B-because, you can’t just expect things to go your way all the time! God, you annoy me so much sometimes…. It’s like, you’re a completely different person these days. Well, sorry to break it to you, honey, but just because **Ikeda offed himself doesn’t give you the right to-”**_

_-_ Slap-

_Kyoko's head retched left as she was slapped across the face. Her cheek stung, a fiery red blooming over and forming a handprint. Tears clung to her eyelids a she touched her face, only to wince when pain shot through her cheek._

_"How dare you." Gakuhou whispered, "HOW DARE YOU MENTION HIS NAME IN **MY** HOUSE!"_

_Gakushuu recoiled back, never in all of his 16 years of living, ever heard his father shout like that. With so much fury and hate. Gakuhou raised his hand again, preparing to slap Kyoko again._

_"Stop!" Gakushuu shouted as he ran and pulled his mother away before his father's hand collided with her head. He looked down, holding his mother close. Kyoko was shaking; with fear and anger. This had to stop, she couldn't take any more of this abuse._

_"PACK YOUR SHIT GAKUHOU AND JUST GET OUT! Please…j-just go."_

_Silence._

_"What?" Gakuhou whispered, eyes trained on the trembling figure of the woman he married all those years ago and then to his son, who looked at him with such defiance and hatred that he almost flinched. Almost._

_"I can't take this abuse anymore, Gakuhou. You need to go; you need to just leave. I never_ *sob* _want to see you again."_

_Gakuhou looked between Gakushuu and Kyoko for a good minute before chuckling hollowly. "You're divorcing me?"_

_Kyoko looked at him, all of her pain, anguish and sorrow in her brown orbs._

**_"Yes."_ **

* * *

"Then he flipped out. He ripped my mother away from me and started hitting her around, to the point where there was blood. Things were being smashed and tossed around too. My mother tried to fight back but, compared to my father, she was weaker. I tried to stop him, but he just continued beating and beating her. Then he moved on to me. He managed to land a punch, but I dodged the next one. He was blind with rage, so his movement were sloppy, so I tried to go in for the kill, to knock him out. But he saw me coming and dashed a broken plate at me. I caught it, but didn't see him pick up a broken glass. he charged at me and ended up cutting me. Hence the huge gash on my chest. After he just kept beating me until my mother got him to focus on her. So I could escape. The last thing I remember is her telling me to run. She told that when I did leave, my father still beat her, but calmed down afterwards. He called an ambulance for her and just...left her there." Gakushuu recounted, trembling slightly.

He was sitting outside the hospital with Karma, after said person convinced him to take some fresh air. The redhead rubbed his back, a frown present on his face. Looks like the principal was more of a monster than he thought.

Karma took one more look at Gakushuu, who seemed to be struggling to contain the tears streaming down his face and made a decision right then and there. He swore he was going to kill that bastard. For hurting Gakushuu to the point that he had to cry. To the point where he had to get stitches. 

He would _end_ Gakuhou Asano.

* * *

Yumiko crept into room 24, the black briefcase she was given beforehand tucked securely in her arms. She looked at the patient who seemed to be asleep before setting down the case and opening it up. Inside was a syringe and a small bottle of VX liquid inside. 

When Yumiko was told what was inside the bottle, she knew exactly how dangerous the liquid was. VX was a nerve agent with the consistency of engine oil. It emerged from ICI’s research into new insecticides in the early 1950s but proved too toxic to use in agriculture. VX kills by interfering with the transmission of nerve messages between cells; this requires a molecule called acetylcholine. After acetylcholine has passed on its message, it needs to be broken down (otherwise it will keep sending the message) by an enzyme catalyst called acetylcholinesterase. VX and other nerve agents stop this enzyme from working, so muscle contractions go out of control and you die of asphyxiation. This was something you most definitely did not play around with.

Yumiko sighed; she really didn't want to do this. She had talked with Kyoko before, and had deduced that she was a kind soul who was unfortunate enough to be assaulted. What she was about to do...

She quickly erased any thoughts of hesitation and began preparing the syringe. If she doubted her decision even once, she knew she wouldn't go through with it. And she had too. 10 million yen wasn't something you could just give up. She needed that money if she was going to have the life of her dreams! So with that in mind, she injected the serum into Kyoko's IV pack, not having the resolve to inject it straight into her arm. At least now, she could say goodbye to her son. That is, if he came back in time. Yumiko took one last look at the sleeping blonde before escaping out of the room and out of the hospital, going into a dark alley at the side of said hospital to receive her payment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this chapter wasn't as good as I wanted it to be. Whatever, just take it! 
> 
> Solangelo_blitzstone_cures_my_depression gave a really good idea about why Gakuhou might of flipped out. It was because Gakushuu told him he was gay! So, I originally was going to go with that, but decided to take a different approach. One that was the root of all evil in the Asano Family. PERFECTION. Everyone had to be perfect to uphold the pristine Asano image, so for Gakushuu to get 3rd? That's a big no-no in Gakuhou's book!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!~
> 
> This has been a hectic week. I know I said 5-6 days but I'm only one day late so whatever.

Horror struck Gakushuu in waves as he looked on at the crime scene -well, soon to be crime scene- regret and guilt overwhelming him as he realised that this could have easily been avoided. When did it all go wrong? One minute he was with Karma, drinking water as he talked with the redhead as said person tried his best to comfort him despite his heartbreak; the next was him standing next to his mother's body, her struggling to breath as she clawed at her throat. He watched her in morbid fascination, watched as her fearful eyes looked at him for help, watched as she struggled to take even her last breaths. There was no point in trying to save her, she was going to die in a matter of seconds- if he was lucky. The less suffering she went through, the better. The vial found on the floor had VX written with pen on the bottle, staring up at him in mocking victory. With every ragged breath Kyoko took, it felt like another knife lodging itself in his heart. Karma had left some time ago to call for help, not seeing the vial on the floor and therefore not knowing that the damage had already been done. 

Gakushuu watched as his mother's hands that were clawing at her throat and leaving angry red lines in their wake slowed to a stop, before finally plopping to the bed. Her eyes briefly rolled to the back of her head before focusing on the ceiling, a blank look in those brown orbs of hers. Her body convulsed in irregular patterns as she took the last breath she would take before her inevitable death. When she died and the heart monitor produce a straight white line, the knives that had lodged themselves into Gakushuu's hurt twisted. The piercing sound of the heart monitor no longer beeping but producing one sound sounded distant from the strawberry-blonde as he slowly sunk to the floor. He didn't know how long he sat like that; on the floor next to his mother's bed, his hands in his hair pulling almost painfully. Everything became a blur. He sat there unmoving as doctors rushed in and out, he sat there as they took his mother and put a white sheet over her. He sat there even as Karma desperately tried to talk to him.

When he finally did come to his senses, he realised he was being dragged by the hand by the redhead, towards the exit. He looked back but didn't spot his mother or the doctors that took her away. How long had he been out of it? Where was Karma taking him? He realised that he didn't care. The one person in his family that he actually cared about was gone. His only remaining family was his...father. Despite the sadness that pierced through his body like a zap of lightning and the numbness that began creeping into him, he didn't cry. No matter how much he desperately wanted to let go and curse at the sky, nothing came. The warm liquid that was meant to blur his vision and wet his cheeks never came. The scream that was meant to rip from his throat and probably damage his vocal cords never came.

Instead... he smiled.

Fate was a fickle bitch, after all.

* * *

Karma didn't know what to do; didn't know how to feel...how to react. When both he and Gakushuu had started walking back to his mother's room after their conversation about what happened that night, he vowed to make Gakuhou pay, and make sure that Gakushuu _never_ had that look on his face again. The look of utter heartbreak and helplessness. It seemed that fate had other ideas, either that or someone was really keen on pissing him off. When he first saw what was happening in the room, he was frozen solid beside the equally frozen strawberry-blonde. There Gakushuu's mother was, clawing at her neck as she choked on her own spit. It was sick, a clear display of suffocation. Her heart monitor was beeping rapidly, every new beep faster than the previous signifying her rise in her heart rate. She was in distress- well of course she was...she was dying. It was only then that he had realised that this wasn't meant to happen, Gakushuu's mother couldn't die. Otherwise Gakushuu would be heartbroken again. He couldn't let that happen just as he had promised to make sure he never felt that way again.

Though it seemed as he was too late; if the look on said person's face was anything to go by. He had never seen Gakushuu look that confused and scared since... he showed up at his door in the biting cold of that awful Friday night.

"I-I'll go get the doctor!" Karma rushed as he turned on his heel to get someone, anyone that could possibly save the woman.

In his haste to get the doctor assigned to Kyoko, he failed to notice the brown haired woman giving him a sympathetic glance before sighing to herself and leaving with her handbag and a suspicious black briefcase that she didn't have when she had walked in that morning. When he had located the doctor, a short man with unruly purple hair and glasses that seemed a bit too big for him as it never seemed to stay on his nose- he practically _dragged_ the poor man to room 24, on the way begging him to save her.

"Please, you have to save her!"

"Ok, please calm down, I will do the best I can."

The doctor unhooked himself from Karma's grasp so that he could quickly go grab a team of doctors in hope of saving the blonde woman, Karma paying no mind and rushing back towards the room. 

"Gaku-"

Karma stopped himself in his tracks as he inhaled a sharp breath at the scene in front of him. Kyoko was long gone, the heart monitor blaring a continuous streak of one decibel as the woman on the bed had all the life sucked out of her eyes and drool running down her chin. Gakushuu was on the floor in a ball like position, as if he had curled up on himself. His hands bundled in his hair and pulling, he looked a wreck; Karma hated it...scared him even. It once again reminded him of the state Gakushuu had been when showing up on his doorstep, lost and alone. But that wasn’t what unnerved Karma, it was more the expression he wore. His face was blank; devoid of all emotion. He looked...broken. As if he had reached his limit, as if he had snapped. Karma opened his mouth, to say something but nothing came out. He couldn't bring himself to speak. What even was he to say? What were people meant to say in situations like these?

He felt himself being pushed to the side by several doctors who rushed in and immediately got to work, checking her IV line and heart monitor. But to his surprise and disgust, they all past the strawberry-blonde by, not sparing him a single glance; as if he weren't there. Couldn't they see that his mother was dead and gone? Knowing this, shouldn't they confront the person that was actually still _breathing?_ Apparently not.

"Hey, Shuu? Come on... let's get you out of here." Karma coaxed as he crouched down next to the male.

It didn't seem like he noticed it, but he was shaking. Or more vibrating? Either way, all it did was send even more warning signals to Karma's head, alerting him that in no way, shape or form was Gakushuu ok. Though then again, who would be if they basically watched their mother die? He sighed when he realised he wasn't getting any response, trust Gakushuu to be stubborn in times like these. So instead, he grabbed the male's hand and slowly pulled him to his feet before nodding towards the main doctor before promptly leaving the room. If anything, Karma expected him to cry or scream. He would never admit it but that was what he would do. 

Instead... he smiled.

Karma never wanted to see that kind of smile on Gakushuu's face ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally finished! I might write the next chapter full of fluff just to cleanse my soul from all of this heartbreak. Then maybe crush everything again by making something happen to Shuu. I love him, but I also love making him suffer. He's such an interesting character to write!
> 
> About the woman being in the hospital to see Karma look for a doctor despite her leaving the hospital, she left to collect her money before going back in, telling her boss that she wanted to resign, then proceeded to collect all of her stuff from her desk. So as she finished up and prepared to leave for good, she saw Karma and felt guilty.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the tags again ;)
> 
> (I promise this is the last time!)

Karma sighed as he kicked off his shoes and took off his coat, contemplating what he should do now that he was back home. He looked at the strawberry-blonde who had gone straight to his bedroom after taking off his shoes and coat, slamming the door with him. The redhead put a hand through his hair and combed it back before shaking his head and going into his bedroom. Gakushuu was there, bundled up in the covers and shaking slightly. It was obvious he was crying; who wouldn't in these kinds of situations? Karma sat on his bed, alerting the male of his presence.

Reaching out with his hand, Karma was about to pull the crying boy into his arms and whisper sweet nothings into his ear, before he stopped himself. Come to think of it, since when had they become so comfortable with each other? Just under a month ago they were rivals, now what were they? Friends? Friends didn't kiss each other and sleep together. But they weren't more than friends either. How did Gakushuu even feel about him? How did he feel about the kiss? They never did talk about it.

But none of that mattered right now; he was hurting and needed comforting. But did he even _want_ to be comforted? Did he want to be left alone? Or would he rather have someone like Sakakibara comfort him? He thought back to what Kayano had told him, about how it was Gakushuu who was the one who initiated the kiss, so if anything, _Gakushuu_ was the one who liked _him._ Although at the time, Karma was the only one he had seen for a good month, so obviously he would be feeling a bit daring, especially with how nice Karma had been to him. What if he was mistaking simple friendship for something... more.

Over the course of the month Gakushuu had been showing a side of himself that Karma never dreamed he'd ever get to see. He usually portrayed himself as this impenetrable defence, not as he was now. He was showing...weakness. And a lot of it. He was actually showing genuine emotion, and Karma didn't know how to feel about that. Of course, he felt happy that Gakushuu trusted him enough to cry in front of him, but it didn't make it any less weird. Where was the strong and independent Gakushuu he knew until now?

Obviously, he knew it wasn't the boy's fault, after bottling up his emotions for so long, they were bound to come out one day. Whether Gakushuu intended to or not, that day began on the day he showed up at Karma's doorstep.

He didn't want to make things worse by bothering the strawberry-blonde, but at the same time... he didn't want to leave him alone. He took one last look at the quivering back of the A-class president before retreating his hand back further and getting off of the bed. He left quietly; the door closing with a little click. 

* * *

The next time Gakushuu comes out of Karma's room, a day had gone by. His eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, clear signs that he had been crying for quite a bit. Karma acted like he didn't notice. He sat down at the table across from Karma, who was sipping some hot chocolate quietly, and put his head in his hands. He sniffled a bit before looking up at the redhead in front of him, whom he hadn't seen since the hospital day. Gakushuu obviously had better things to think about but he couldn't help thinking of why he had left him alone that day. The one time he wanted comfort from the redhead, and he couldn't provide it. 

Was he avoiding him? It seemed like it, with the way he refused to look him in the eye. He refused to think more on the matter and banished anything relating the male to the back of his mind, right now he had to figure out how to tell him what he wanted to do from this point on. There was no point prolonging it, it had to be done.

He looked over at the male sitting in front of him, just taking him in. He still had bed hair from the night before presumably, the red strands splayed across his forehead in disarray and sticking up at wonky sides. His amber eyes reminded him of a calm sunset when relaxed and content, when usually it was a roaring fire, ready to impend doom on its next target. He found that he liked both equally. His lips, wrapped around the rim of his mug, slowly drinking in the brown liquid. How he would love to kiss those lips again.

But he didn't like him, not like that. Gakushuu had kissed him and he had kissed back, sure, but they hadn't talked about it, and he wasn't one to just assume. With the way he had been avoiding him too, seemed as if the male in question wanted nothing to do with him. It was disconcerting to say the least. Did he reciprocate his feelings or not? All of this stress wasn't good for him, especially for his health.

He placed a hand over his scar, feeling the ridges though the thin shirt he had put on before coming out. He remembered how Karma had stitched him up perfectly and continued to take care of it until it had healed fully. He remembered how Karma had welcomed him into his bed, no questions asked, when he had his first nightmare. He remembered all those times at school, where he had so much fun debating about pointless subjects with him; the satisfaction of seeing his face twist in frustration when he made a good point, and the smug smile he would wear when he made one himself. God, that smile. 

He didn't want to have to do this, but it was the only way, he felt, that he could truly move past his mother's death.

"I'm going back home."

It was all so sudden; so quickly that Gakushuu didn't even have time to process anything before hands were being placed on his shoulder blades. Blood dripped onto the table, but neither payed any mind as they both looked into each other's eyes in a silent stare off. The mug that the redhead had shattered by slamming it too hard onto the table lay untouched as hot chocolate dribbled off the side of the table. Gakushuu winced as the heat of the burn that Karma had gotten from spilling some of the beverage onto his hand pressed into his neck. 

"What?" Karma all but whispered, not breaking his stare and forcing Gakushuu to admit defeat and turn away from his piercing gaze. 

"You heard me." Gakushuu replied, voice wavering ever so slightly.

Karma's eyes narrowed as his grip on the male's shoulders tightened. "You're hurting me." Gakushuu whimpered quietly.

He let go immediately, turning his back to the other as he combed his hand through his fiery hair. Why was Gakushuu doing this? And now of all times?

"I-I need closure. I have a feeling my father had something to do with this, and I need to confirm it. Besides, don't you think I've stayed here long enough?" Gakushuu asked as he got up slowly, regarding the other male cautiously.

"You think your dad had something to do with this? I get that he's a psycho, but don't you think that's a bit much for someone like him?" Karma asked in disbelief as he turned to face the male.

"That's why I need closure. I can’t be too sure; my father is capable of many things. You don't know how far he'd go to get what he wants."

"I understand that, but I get the feeling that your father is beneath _murder."_

"You'd be surprised."

~~~

_"Gakuhou, please, I don't want to."_

_"Oh, so it's gotten to the point where you won't even do this with me?"_

_"That's not it, I'm just... tired."_

_"Tired? You didn't seem so before."_

_"Gakuhou, come on, let's just go to bed."_

_"Maybe I should just go elsewhere then."_

_"W-what?"_

_"If my own wife isn't going to do this with me, then maybe I should go somewhere to someone who can and will."_

_"Y-you wouldn't."_

_"Want to bet?"_

_"..."_

_"It's your choice Kyoko."_

_"I'm not just your...your plaything that you can use whether you feel a little bit stressed or pent up."_

_"Now, who said that? I won't deny that I am feeling a bit stressed, but not once did I call you a plaything... is that how you see yourself?"_

_"What? Of course not-"_

_"Kyoko, is there something you're not telling me? When did these thoughts start?"_

_"Wait, Gakuhou-"_

_"I suppose if you truly feel that way then we can't spend this much intimacy with each other. I wouldn't want to further that thought."_

_"I never said that..."_

_"So, you're fine with this?"_

_"I... I suppose."_

_"Great, now, shall we?"_

~~~

"He would either manipulate you into doing something you don't want to do to ensure he wins or getting someone else entirely to carry out the dirty work. I just have to make sure-"

"And then what?"

Gakushuu stopped talking at Karma's statement. What _did_ happen after he had confirmed the reason for his mother's death?

"Have you thought about what he might do to you when he sees you?"

"He's my father, he won’t hurt me-"

"He's your father yet he was the one who gave you that scar on your chest."

"That may be true but-"

"And if somehow you _do_ make it out in one piece, where will you go? You've made it obvious that you won’t be coming back here, after all."

"I never said I wouldn't come back-"

"If your father wasn't the cause of your mother's death, then what? Apart from your dad, you have no other leads-"

"Stop interrupting me! You don't think I know that? You don't think I know that this could all go wrong? But I have to try! I won’t stop till I do."

Karma grit his teeth in frustration. Why wasn't he listening?!

"You could get hurt, Gakushuu! You don't know what he could do to you, and it's obvious he doesn't care whether he does or not if that scar is anything to go by. But God forbid someone actually show some kind of concern for you! Because the second they do you just overlook everything they say! I just don't want you to get hurt again, is that too much to ask?"

Now it was Gakushuu's turn to get angry. How dare he assume that! He didn't know the first thing about what his father, so why was he acting like he did? Shit, he was beginning to lose his cool.

"Stop acting like you know everything, it's annoying as hell! _I_ am the one who lived with him for 15 years. _I_ am the one who had to deal with his bullshit day in and day out. Not you, not anyone! S-so stop acting like, like I'm some fragile piece of glass that'll break over the slightest touch, b-because I'm not!"

"BUT YOU _ARE_ FRAGILE."

Gakushuu recoiled back as Karma finally burst.

"Shit Gakushuu, you are fragile. You can't go up against your father, especially not in the state you’re in now. But I know I can’t stop you, so I'm telling you now. If you leave that door, I won’t be here to help you pick up the pieces. When- no- _if_ you come back, stitch your own wounds and provide your own shelter. I'm done. I'm done trying to protect someone that won’t even listen to sound advice."

With that final statement hanging in the air, Karma walked past the strawberry-blonde and into his bedroom door, slamming the door with such force that it caused the other male to flinch. Gakushuu stood there in shock before sinking to the floor in shock. As much as he tried to suppress them, the tears began coming. Dammit he didn't want to cry and give him the satisfaction. He didn't want to cry and show him how much his words had actually hurt him. Suddenly, he wasn't so sure he wanted to go home.

* * *

Karma inhaled a shuddering breath before letting it out and popping down on his bed. He didn't want to admit it but shouting at Gakushuu had taken a lot out of him, but he stood by what he said. He wasn't going to let Gakushuu put himself in danger like that but knew that he couldn't stop him if he did decide to leave.

An obnoxious ringtone rang out in his otherwise quiet bedroom, startling him slightly. He groaned before feeling around on his desk before grabbing it and looking at the screen that displayed 'Unknown' in white at the top. He shrugged before clicking answer and pressing the phone to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this Karma Akabane?"

"Speaking."

"I-I'm here to confess something."

Karma raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"

"I was the one who killed Ms Asano."

Karma sprung up in a flash, holding the phone with two hands.

"What did you say?" He asked frantically.

"Look, I didn't want to do it, but... I was offered a proposition I just couldn't refuse!"

Karma hummed before looking around, he needed a pen and paper. Once found, he got up and sat at his desk located at the side of his room. He needed to maintain a level head if he wanted to get all the information he wanted, "How did you do it?"

"VX liquid." His pencil scratched across the paper.

"What time?"

"During visiting times, when no one was in the room." Scribble scribble.

"Who asked you to do this?"

"..."

"Hello?"

"A-a man called Gakuhou... I think." His pencil hesitated for a moment before continuing to write.

"What was the proposition?"

"W-what?"

Karma stopped writing. "The thing he offered you?"

She hesitated before answering, "I'd rather not say."

Karma narrowed his eyes in suspicion but didn't comment. "Last question, why tell me this?"

"Well, it wasn't right, what I did. I tried not to think about it, but the quilt was chewing me up inside and I’m afraid it'll swallow me whole if I don’t say _something_. That boy, he lost his mother because of me, he must be heartbroken. This was the least I could do. I guess I’m not cut out for this kind of life, huh?"

Karma didn't answer.

"I'll be taking my leave. And if you can, tell that boy you were with that I’m sorry." The line went dead.

Karma sighed he put down his pencil and put his head in his hands.

Gakushuu was right.

His dad really was capable of many things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boom, that's 7 pages (according to Microsoft) written and edited! I know I said that I might write some fluff to cleanse my soul, but emphasis on the word 'might'. I decided I'd rather do this and get the story rolling! As always, hope you enjoyed!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh I'm so tired.

_Karma yawned as he lazily dragged his pocketknife across the edges of his desk, writing his initials sloppily and jaggedly. The sun was high in the air, contradicting the earlier forecast of cloudy skies with a little bit of rain. He supposed you never could trust those things. He looked towards the front as Korosensei droned on and on about the human body and anatomy. Honestly, it was pointless for him to even be in the class, but Karasuma had started monitoring him because apparently, he was skipping a tad too much. So here he was, learning that there were approximately 203 bones in the human body as if he didn’t already know that._

_He looked at the clock on the wall; he only had an hour left of class before school ended. He sighed, deciding that he might as well sit the rest out, especially with the way Karasuma was staring at him from the door as if he knew what he was thinking. Though he wasn’t a problem, he was sure he could get Bitch-Sensei to distract him long enough to slip out, not that he needed to ask. She did that herself._

_He lay his head on his desk, his eyes drooping ever so slowly. He wasn’t going to sleep just… resting his eyes. Well, everyone knows what happens when you “rest your eyes”. He’d wake up when everyone was packing away anyways, and if Korosensei had a problem with him sleeping in class, he would have said something by now. So, as the wisps of sleep overtook the redhead, he tried not to think about the feeling of dread licking at his lower stomach and the bile rising up his throat._

_\----------_

_Korosensei looked at the redhead currently asleep on his desk before looking over at the rest of his class fondly. He could deal with Karma once everyone had left. And with that thought in mind, he dismissed everyone and watched as they all got up and started packing away._

_"Do you think I should wake Karma?"_

_He looked over at Kayano and Nagisa who were looking over at the sleeping male. "Yeah, if he wants to sleep, he should do it in his bed where it's way more comfortable." Kayano agreed with the blunette._

_"Not to worry children, I'll wake him up. You go home." Korosensei said to them, making them nod their head’s in understanding before picking up their bags and leaving the building. Korosensei took one last look at the sleeping delinquent before sighing to himself and sitting down at his desk to begin marking._ 'It looks like Chiba struggled with this particular question, so let’s see if he'll find it easier to approach it this way' _Korosensei thought happily. He'd get to the bottom of Karma's problem once he had awoken from his slumber._

* * *

"Hey." Gakushuu said as he entered Karma's room. Karma hummed in response. "I found this underneath the couch at the front, I thought you might want it."

Karma looked up from where he was laying on his bed, eyes widening at the item in Gakushuu's hands. The blue cover shone in the sunlight, the gold lettering standing out in bold with he words 'Korosensei rules to live by'. "There was another one, a yearbook I think?"

"Yeah." Karma breathed; his throat dry. He never admitted it to anyone, but he wasn't ready to read it, not yet. He was still reeling after his death; he didn't want to revisit it so soon.

"Can I look through them?" Gakushuu asked quietly, almost a whisper.

Karma swallowed as he nodded. Maybe he would be able to look through it, if he had Gakushuu by his side. He was still bitter about the argument but, if Gakushuu was really going, then he was going to enjoy the time left he had with him. As little as it may be. The strawberry-blonde came back with the other book, before sitting next to Karma on his bed. He opened up the yearbook first, sliding his thumb over Karma's face before looking at the yellow octopus in the middle. He looked surprised at first before smiling slightly. "So, this was the famous teacher who rose 3-E to the top."

"Yep." Karma kept his answer short and sweet.

"What was he like?" Gakushuu whispered.

"He was amazing. Understanding, considerate, kind... everything a teacher should be. He sympathised with us and drove us forward with a common goal in mind; to take you and your class down for finals. For me, he was the closest thing to a father figure I could get. Crazy right?" Karma laughed bitterly, making Gakushuu frown.

"Was that blast, a year ago, for him?"

"Yeah, though it was us who killed him."

"Killed him?"

"Our mission... to kill our teacher before graduation."

* * *

_When Karma woke up, the sun was setting, casting an orange hue inside the classroom. He looked at the clock, two hours had passed; why didn't he wake up when everyone was packing away? Better yet, why didn't someone wake him up when they saw him asleep? Well, there was no point dwelling on it now, instead he got up and grabbed his bag, only then noticing his teacher at the front of the class. "Why didn't you wake me up?" He asked._

_"I thought you needed the sleep." His yellow teacher replied, putting down his pen and looking up at the boy. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?"_

_Karma gave a perplexed look to his teacher, making said person sigh in exasperation. Korosensei grabbed a chair from one of the front desks and placed it in front of him before beckoning Karma to sit down on it. The redhead complied and placed his bag at his side._

_"You know you can talk to me about anything, right? I won't judge, no matter how bad." Korosensei expressed, growing concerned at the troubled look on his pupil's face._

_"I know, but there is nothing to share." Karma replied stubbornly._

_"Look, I'm going to be dead in a month and my identity is meant to be a secret. Who am I going to tell? I'm not here to make you feel bad or pry, I just want to help you and maybe give you some advice."_

_Karma looked at the permanent smile on his teacher’s face, contemplating the compelling argument in front of him. It wasn't like everything the octopus was untrue, and he was feeling a little pent up. If he didn't release his feelings soon, he felt like he would burst. So... why not?_

_"My parents are coming home today." Karma muttered._

_"That's nice but I get the feeling that isn't the only thing troubling you."_

_"I'm planning to tell them...something."_

_"May I ask what?"_

_Karma bit his lip. "Remember, I'm not here to judge." Korosensei reminded after seeing his hesitant reaction._

_"I'm planning to tell them... to tell them that I'm...gay." Karma finally got out._

_He looked at his teacher's face, wanting to gauge his reaction. To say Korosensei was surprised was an understatement he was not expecting that and quite frankly, didn't know how to handle situations like these. But he put on a brave face and gave Karma one of his many approachable smiles. "I see, that can be hard."_

_Karma looked like he wanted to say more, so Korosensei encouraged him to speak. After much prompting, Karma finally talked._

_"I've known my sexuality for a long time, but never told my parents. Half of it was because they weren't around enough for me to actually work up the courage to tell them and the other half... I guess was me being afraid of rejection. One of the many topics my parents and I haven't had the chance to talk about yet is sexuality so I don’t know how they would take it. I suppose I’m just scared. They barely see me already, what if after I tell them they decide to stop coming altogether?"_

_"I just hate the fact that after all this time I still give a shit about what they think about me, despite their blatant disregard for me. I don't want to lose the small thing we have, even if its barely there. Do you get what I'm saying?"_

_Korosensei hummed before offering his own advice. "This is a tricky situation indeed. I know the gist of the relationship you and your parents have, and my advice is to go for it. You can never be sure what their reaction would be but be assured that even if they don't accept you, your friends here at 3-E will. This is a confusing time for you, seeing as you've only just started puberty and experiencing so much, including keeping your sexuality a secret and the assassination. You must have a lot of pressure on your shoulders."_

_"Unfortunately, their reactions are something not even I can predict, so this is a risk you have to be willing to take. You're an extraordinary boy Karma, don't let others bring you down, especially over something as petty as this. You tell your parents what you want with your head held high, don't falter for a second. Then strike, with everything you have."_

* * *

"He helped us overcome our fears. He even helped me with things I would usually never trust a teacher with. He was so annoying all the time and I remember how much I just wanted to kill him and get him to shut up, but when the day finally came to kill him... I froze. He was the one who had helped me. The first person to accept me for who I truly was. It hurt seeing him die."

"I wish I could have met him." Gakushuu smiled at a picture of Nagisa and Karma posing after what seemed to be a fierce battle. What was weird was that they were the only one's hurt, the others just had paint on them. He decided not to think too much of it.

"You would have loved him; he hated your father just as much as you do." Gakushuu laughed at that.

He put down the yearbook and picked up the rule book, noticing that it hadn't even been opened. "You haven't started it?"

"I've tried but..." He nodded in understanding.

The president opened up the book, reading over the manga swiftly before focusing on a short message.

_'Dear Semi-Senioritis,_

_Over the course of this year, I am delighted to say that you have improved so much, in not just assassination, but with your social skills._

_I hope this year has made it easier for you to make friends and connect with people, but just know your friends in 3-E are friends that'll_

_stick with you no matter what. You have not only grown as an assassin and student, but also as a person. I am so proud of the person you_

_have become and I hope you know that it has been an honour being your teacher._

_-Prince of the Fateful Eternal Wind (The nickname you and your fellow students is just too mean to taint this page!)_

_"_ Semi-Senioritis? Prince of the fateful eternal wind?" Gakushuu giggled.

"Codenames." Karma smiled.

They continued to look through the book before they came across a page titled 'Parents and sexuality', making Karma's eyes widen. "I think that's enough for today."

Gakushuu had seen the heading and wisely decided not to comment. Karma put both books underneath his bed, away from sight before sitting back up. They both sat in silence, not knowing what to say next before Gakushuu cleared his throat.

'I'm still going." A statement, no room for discussion.

"I won’t stop you." Karma replied.

Gakushuu looked at Karma, thinking about how much he wanted to kiss him. This may be the last time he saw him for a while, surely that was a fitting goodbye. But how would he react? He reacted fine, more than fine, the last time, but the previous argument still hung in the air like a bad odour. He didn't want to ruin what they had, but he couldn't help wanting more. Was that selfish of him? He decided to let Karma decide what he wanted. That was for the best, after all. He had made the first move, now it was up to Karma.

Karma looked at Gakushuu's violet eyes, then at his lips, before turning away. He wasn't doing this, not now. There was too much left unsaid, besides, who knew how the other would react. This felt like a bad time to initiate something so intimate, yet it also felt right. Which choice was right and wrong? He didn't know and... didn't want to find out. The risk was too big. " _You tell your parents what you want with your head held high, don't falter for a second. Then strike, with everything you have."_ Karma hesitated. _"Don't falter for a second. Then strike, with everything you have."_

Karma looked at the strawberry-blonde one last time before turning away, declaring his choice without a word between them. Gaksuhuu couldn't find it in himself to be sad though, if anything he expected it. He just sighed before getting up and leaving the room quietly.

That night, he left the Akabane residence, not turning back for a second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JUST KISS ALREADY DAMMIT-


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since I've updated this story, huh? If I'm being completely honest, I don't have a concrete plan for how this story will go; the only thing I'm really certain of is the definite end. Everything in between is improvised. I know that one thing I wanted to do was give the Maehara x Isogai ship some more content because honestly their ship is soooo underrated. 
> 
> I put the end chapter at 20 because that's my goal; the maximum of chapters I want for this book, if you will. I'm not really good with making books with many chapters. My first long book was only 7 chapter after all, and the Baby Project is only 14 chapters long. I also said at the start of this pic that this was my poor attempt at a slow burn and slow burns are (usually) long. 
> 
> Anyways, I'm not going to drag this A/N longer than it needs to be so enjoy just this chapter! As always, Kudos and comments are appreciated and encouraged here!

Maehara silently sipped his tea in careful consideration, making sure not to burn his lips or his tongue with the scalding liquid. He looked down at the text Toka had texted everyone in the 3-E group chat, something about how they should all meet up soon? He was sure Yuuma wouldn't hesitate to agree, so he guessed he was going to go too. He shot her a quick text of confirmation of his and Yuuma's attendance before pocketing his phone and walking towards his living room where the yellow-eyed male sat. Scattered across the living room floor was papers, some were unfinished tests, some were projects, some were assignments, some even letters from distant relatives. Maehara thought back to how Isoagai had asked to come over that day so he could sort all of this out, his half of his and his roommates’ room not having enough space.

Not that Maehara was complaining, not on bit. He smiled as he watched Isogai sort through the papers, his pretty pink tongue sticking out of his mouth and nose scrunching in concentration. _'cute'_ Maehara thought with a small blush. They had only been together for under a year, but he knew this was the male he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. If you had told him a year ago that he would end up with a guy of all things, he'd laugh in your face while saying something along the lines of "Yeah, real funny dude. How can I be with a guy if I'm not even gay?" But not anymore. He would happily scream on the rooftops that he was the gayest man on earth if it meant being with Isogai. He was smitten and a bit whipped for the male sitting in his living room, but could you blame him? Isogai was just so... perfect.

"You going to continue standing there and staring at me or are you going to come over here and help me sort these papers?" Isogai asked in a tone that was meant to be annoyed, but only came out a desperate plea for help. Damn, he was weak. Maehara huffed out a laugh before placing his tea on the coffee table in front of Isogai and sitting down next to him. 

"Just collect all of the papers with a stamp on the and put them a pile." Isogai instructed. Maehara listened wordlessly, picking up a letter addressed by someone called 'Aunt Martha from Argentina'. He had relatives in Argentina?

Suddenly, he felt a soft pressure on his cheek, making him blush ever so slightly. "Thanks." Isogai murmured, kissing him lightly on the cheek. Maehara only smiled a dopey smile in response. Then Isogai’s phone rang, startling the two. Isogai put down the exam in his hands before picking up the phone.

"Hello, Isogai speaking."

"Hey, Isogai."

"Karma?"

Maehara looked over at his boyfriend in confusion, why was Karma calling him? He wracked his brain for an answer but came back empty; no plausible reason coming to him. He gestured for Isogai to put it on loudspeaker, to which his boyfriend complied, putting his phone down on the glass coffee table in front of him.

"Sorry for calling out of the blue like this, I just... really need some advice."

"Advice? I'm honoured that you would come to me for that, but don't you usually rely on Nagisa for that?"

"I do but I feel like you could help me more." 

Isogai nodded in understanding despite knowing the redheaded male on the other end of the phone couldn't possibly see him. "What do you need?"

"Remember how I asked you for books? Well that wasn't for me, that was for..."

"Asano, I know." Isogai interrupted.

"W-what? How?"

"Nakamura told me!"

"How? I haven't told her shit."

"Well apparently Nagisa told Kayano told Toka who told Hinano who told Kanzaki who then told Sugino who told Sugaya who told Okajima who told Itona who told Muramatsu who told Yoshida who told Hazama who told Terasaka who told Hara who then told Mimura who told Okuda who told Takebayashi who told Ritsu who told Hayami who told Chiba who then went on to tell Kimura who told Kataoka who told Fuwa who told Nakamura who then told me. I told Maehara who told Bitch-sensei who told Karasuma. I think that's everyone..."

"So you're telling me that EVERYONE IN OUR ENTIRE CLASS KNOWS?!"

"Honestly are you surprised? Literally nobody in our class can keep a secret. Especially something as juicy as you and Asano being all buddy-buddy." Maehara commented, snickering at the groan that emitted from Isogai's phone. 

"He... something happened to him recently and he wants to go back to the very thing that caused it to happen. He left yesterday and... I don't know if I should go after him or not."

"I'm guessing the thing that happened to him wasn't pleasant." Karma hummed. "Well, it all depends on what your relationship is like and also how Asano is. You may think it’s the better decision to go chasing after him, but he may not want that. On the other hand, he may need your help more now than he ever did before. In the end, it’s how you perceive the situation. Is it really worth going after him? And if so, you need to think about the bigger picture here. Are you really enough to stop the pain Asano is no doubt going through?"

Karma stayed silent as he thought about Isogai's words of wisdom, making the other male smile knowingly. "Think about it carefully before making your decision." Isogai said before bidding farewell and hanging up the call.

"Think he'll make the right decision?" Maehara asked.

"Only time will tell I suppose. For now, I just hope he finds what he's looking for."

Maehara smiled, "Well if its anything to you, I'm glad we aren't split apart. And if something were to happen to you, I wouldn't hesitate to go." He whispered into the others' ear. Isogai blushed as he smiled a small smile in response.

"Thank you, my Prince Charming." He giggled.

Maehara laughed, "We both know out of the two of us, you're the Prince Charming. Me? I'm the sorcerer who is corrupting said prince."

"Then what are you waiting for?" Isogai settled nicely into the blonde's lap, pressing the foreheads together and breathing heavily, "Corrupt me already."

"With pleasure." Maehara whispered, capturing Isogai's lips with his own.

_"Head held high, don't falter for a second. Then strike, with everything you have."_

Korosensei's words repeated in Karma's head like a broken record before he started saying it out loud like a sacred mantra. "Head held high, don't falter for a second. Then strike, with everything you have.... strike... with everything I have?" Karma looked at his floor to the big blue book that he had taken back out from underneath his bed. He quickly walked over to it and opened it up to the chapter stating in bold letters 'Parents and sexuality'. He closed his eyes; silently hyping himself up; before reading what was below. He read and read and read until he stopped at a paragraph. As he read it, the pieces finally came into place.

_Karma, one day you are going to find somebody that you won't know how to act around, somebody_

_that'll make butterflies fly around in your stomach, making your heart flutter and your face burn._

_But most importantly, will make you feel like you're the only people in the world when with them._

_This, my boy, is called love. When you find it, make sure you grasp onto it and never let go, no_

_matter how hard it may be to hold on. Life is full of twists and turns, never forget that. Nothing_

_will ever go your way; not fully. Love is a commitment, so when you do find love, make sure_

_that you are ready to commit. In order to gain something, you must be willing to give_

_something up. What are you willing you give up for this person? What sacrifices are you willing_

_to make to stay with them? The answer may not be clear now, but soon it will be. You are_

_still so naive when it comes to love, so proceed with caution. You may not find the one_

_immediately, but you'll know when you do. I just hope that you heed my words and hang_

_on to them and not let them go. Go chase after him, Karma. And remember, keep your head_

_held high, don't falter for a second. Then strike, with everything you have._

Karma smiled warmly, even after death Korosensei was still guiding him. He made a promise to himself to buy him some extra porn mags when he next visited the makeshift shrine him and 3-E had made. But first, he had a certain stubborn president to save.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was this mostly some self- indulgent Maehara x Isogai? Yes.  
> Is it hard writing long ass speeches of wisdom? Fuck yes.
> 
> I don't think you non-writers will ever get the struggle us writers have to go through when writing dialogue for wisdom characters. And with Korosensei and Isogai? It doesn't get worse than that. I hate the idea of just copying a random speech from somewhere, so I had to come up with both of those "words of wisdom's" from my cute little brain. 
> 
> I've recently been binging Hunter x Hunter and with the way Killua looks at Gon... I'd be lying if I said I didn't use that as a reference. I don't care what anyone else says, that boy is whipped for Gon! It's actually really cute haha. I hope I was accurate, tell me what you think! 
> 
> ^^Was that last line just a coax to get people to comment because I love reading everyone's comments? No... of course not...


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 17 also known as fucking hell Gakuhou leave my baby alone!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cracks knuckles* here we go!

_Gakushuu gasped as he felt blood seep out of the wound in his abdomen, struggling to work his lungs and choking on a mixture of thick spit and blood building up in his mouth. He tried to remain conscious, but no matter how much he tried his efforts were in vain as black spots filled his vision slowly but surely. God, he wished he had never left Karma; wanting nothing more than to be back in bed with him, his arms wrapped around him tight. But it didn't matter now, his time was up. He just hoped Karma knew that he-_

* * *

_ 1 hour earlier _

Gakushuu trembled as he reached a hand out to grip the doorknob in his hand. He wasn't ready for this; not at all. He wasn't ready to go inside, to face his demons. What if his dad was inside? What if he saw something that he didn't want to see? Flashbacks of his mother’s corpse flashed through his head, making him grit his teeth. He couldn't do it. He wasn't strong enough. Sunken eyes, chapped lips. Her hands clawing at her neck... make it stop. He began hyperventilating, make it stop, make it stop! He broke out into a cold sweat as he sunk down to the ground. 

He began to violently bite at his nails, something he found out relieved his stress; by only a little bit. But of course, nothing had to go his way. To no avail; biting his nails just made his anxiety rise. Why was he acting so weak dammit?!

He wasn't scared. _He was so scared._

He couldn't care less if his father was inside, waiting for him. _He cared; he cared so fucking much._

He could do this. _No, he couldn't._

He could fight it. _No, he couldn't._

He was strong. _No, he wasn't._

_MAKE IT STOP._

Shit, he was beginning to feel lightheaded with all this back and forth. It was like his mind was being pushed into a frenzy, he couldn't tell what was happening. What was he doing again? Since when were his arms bleeding? Oh, those were his nails digging into them. Was the sky always this grey? Did his body always feel this heavy? Since when did he feel so tired? Exhaustion seeped into his bones as he laid his head on the stone slab that led inside his house. He wondered what it would feel like to just... _let go._

"You shouldn't have come here."

Panic seeped into Gakushuu's very being as he registered just who was behind him. Every fibre of him screamed for him to move; to get up; run away from the monster he once called father. But he was just so _tired._ God, all he wanted was to relax. Why couldn't he be left alone? It seemed like his father had a gift of knowing exactly what he didn't want and how to execute it, because before he knew it, he was being scooped up in the arms of a man he no longer knew and being carried back into his former home. 

Was it still even his home? It had been a long time since he had called it that. He cracked open an eye to peer into the house and knew instantly that he could never _ever_ consider this space a home ever again. Broken glass and plates littered the floor, splotches of blood on the walls and kitchen counter. It looked like nobody had been inside since that night. It made him want to vomit. 

Gakuhou grunted as he placed Gakushuu on the floor before leaving him. Gakushuu choked back a sob as he brought his hands to his knees, he just wanted this nightmare to end. Gakuhou came back shortly after, a rope in his hands. Shuu immediately crawled backwards, an involuntary whimper leaving his mouth. Gakuhou only gave him a smile before roughly grabbing his hands and tying the rope around them before tying the end around the staircase pole. Tears streamed down the strawberry-blondes face as he begged and whimpered for his father to stop. That is, he did before Gakuhou grabbed his cheeks between his index finger and thumb, bringing his tear-stricken face to his. 

"You may be the most pathetic piece of shit I have ever laid eyes on, but I never taught you to act this weak." Gakuhou snarled, practically throwing his face away. 

"Why are you saying such horrible things about yourself? I never knew your self-esteem was so low." Gakushuu gasped out, still managing to keep his usual fire despite his compromising situation. Though it seemed that Gakuhou didn't appreciate his cheek, promptly shutting the strawberry-blonde up with a strong backhand to the face.

"Nice to see your usual attitude hasn't faded, let's see how long you can keep it up." Gakuhou smiled pleasantly.

Gakushuu stared defiantly after the man as he got up and walked away, only managing to keep his composure until Gakuhou was out of sight, before he choked on a sob once more. "Please..." He begged quietly, "Just let me go already."

* * *

Karma stared at the door that led into the Asano residence wearily, hesitating to turn the knob. He had to, to save Gakushuu. But what if he didn't need saving? What if him even being there would ruin everything? Gakushuu... he was strong. Stronger than anyone he had ever met. He was strong because despite everything he had gone through, the pain, prejudice, the sheer willpower it took to even _want_ to move on... Karma knew that if he were in his shoes, he wouldn't have made it.

Even if everything _was_ ok, he needed to make sure. To see it with his own eyes. He...he-

"Seems like your little boyfriend has come to pay us a visit, let's greet him... yes?" Gakuhou asked as he fixed the curtains back and going towards the coffee table in front of him, picking up a white cloth.

"Karma's here...?" Gakushuu whispered before his eyes widened, "KARMA! KARMA I'M HE-"

"Shut up you little brat." Gakuhou growled as he wrapped the cloth around Gakushuu's mouth, making an effective gag. He then grabbed a knife from the block on the counter and positioning himself next to the door. He put a finger to his lips as he smiled a maniac smile. Gakushuu struggled against his confines, but only succeeded on making the course rope burn his wrists, making the skin raw and making it sport an angry red colour on his pale skin. The tears were really coming now, coming down in streams like a perpetual waterfall. His head sagged as he closed his eyes, willing himself to stop crying, but in vain.

Karma opened the door, albeit hesitantly, eyes widening at the mess before settling on Gakushuu's trembling figure tied up on the pole of the staircase, a gag in his mouth. "Gakushuu?" Karma whispered, making Gakushuu's head whip up, eyes bloodshot.

He immediately started talking- well trying to, the gag preventing him from saying anything intelligible- trying to warn Karma about the monster behind the door. But of course, the redhead didn't listen and instead advanced towards him. Gakushuu shook his head in distress, begging and begging with his eyes for Karma to just leave, but he didn't listen. He watched, powerless, as his father slowly crept up behind him, knife ready and poised. The light bounced off of the silver, alerting Karma from the corner of his eye that something was behind him.

He turned around, just as Gakuhou lunged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *PLEASE READ*
> 
> Quick note: I wanted to capture Gakushuu's inner turmoil with this chapter, seeing as I feel like I haven't put enough emphasise on how this whole situation affects him. If something like that happened to someone, then I think it's safe to say that it would be traumatic enough to leave some kind of mark on anyone.
> 
> I tried to portray Gakushuu with PTSD as best as I could, but I know that I won't do everything right. I don't mean to offend or make it seem like PTSD is something that isn't important, or is easy to get over. I did as much research as I could and thus made this. So please don't comment on how I've done anything wrong unless its constructive criticism. Don't be rude.
> 
> I'm only saying this because I've made a story in the past with a character with PTSD and got a lot of hate because apparently I did something wrong. Please be kind, please be nice. Next chapter will be out... whenever I feel motivated? I don't know, thanks for reading!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, this is going to hurt to write.

_He turned around, just as Gakuhou lunged._

Karma barely managed to... DODGE the blade, though the tip managed to nick his forehead, a small dribble of blood dripped down from the small wound. Gakuhou scowled, going back in to land a fatal wound before Karma could recollect himself. Karma dodged again, thanking his lucky stars that he was still fit enough to put his assassination skills to use and thankful to Karasuma for letting him copy most of his style. Gakuhou was visibly getting annoyed at Karma stuffing his attempts, and Karma, noticing this, took it to his advantage and grabbed the knife, making Gakuhou let go and let the blades drop to the floor. Karma quickly kicked it away with his foot, looking back to Gakushuu after hearing a small whimper leave him.

"Mmmph!" Gakushuu suddenly started panicking, straining on his constraints despite the obvious discomfort, motioning his head to his father. Karma looked back just in time to see Gakuhou lift a vase over his head and bring it down, making it connect with his head. Karma grunted as he fell to the ground, broken shards stuck in his head as blood dripped onto the floorboards. He distantly heard Gakushuu's muffled scream of his name and Gakuhou's laughter. 

Searing, white-hot pain blinded him for a second, making his head spin so much he felt nauseous. He felt blood ooze from his new wound, the thick, red liquid was in clear juxtaposition with his white, pale skin, making it look all the more vibrant. 

"Why...why are you doing this?" Karma gasped out.

"Why? It's the principle, I suppose. Gakushuu pissed me off, so I am merely teaching him a lesson." Gakuhou explained as he wiped some flint from his shirt.

"Teaching him a lesson? Don't give me that bullshit. You're only doing this because you think you have power."

"Think? Don't make me laugh. Helen Pierce once said, "It's the first law of power. Those who can, shit on others. Those who can't, clean it up." There are two kinds of people in this world, Akabane, and I am the former. 

Karma gave a little laugh, making Gakuhou frown slightly, "I'm guessing you think I'm the latter?"

"No, not you. Gakushuu on the other hand..." He gave his son a sideways glance.

"That's your son, you piece of shit!" Karma shouted, trying to get up. But the throbbing of his wound burned, and his head felt dizzy after the outburst, making him fall to his knees once more.

"Your point? Just because he is my son doesn't mean I have to look over his weakness. If anything, him being my son should be a sign that it is utterly disgraceful for him to be such a failure! Look at him, blubbering like a baby; he didn't even have the balls to step inside the house!"

"Don't... don't say that..." Karma winced at the pain, "Gakushuu...Gakushuu is the strongest person I know." He whispered.

"Ha, don't make me laugh!" Gakuhou laughed.

He went over and grabbed Gakushuu by the hair, pulling his hair up making the male whine in dismay and making the redhead on the floor growl. "Pathetic." Gakuhou spit. 

Gakushuu lashed out, thrusting his leg sideways and kicking his father in the shin, making him buckle. Gakuhou retaliated with a firm slap to the face, making Karma gasp in shock and anger. He desperately tried to get up, but his body had other plans, staying firmly planted to the floor.

"What..." Karma involuntarily flinched as Gakuhou directed his burning gaze towards his own, "What did he even do to you?"

"He didn't tell you?" Gakuhou grinned, "The little bastard decided to embarrass me by getting third on his exams. He lost to you, which I can understand, but guess who else he lost to! Ren Sakakibara! Can you believe the audacity of it all?”

Karma had to take a moment to process it all before looking up at the adult in surprise.

“You’re telling me that you are doing all of this because _Gakushuu didn't get first place?”_

“Precisely.”

Karma was done. Fuck the pain of his head pounding. Fuck the frantic shaking of Gakushuu, pleading with his eyes to let it go. Fuck every single bone in his body telling him to give up. Fuck all of this shit. 

**He was going to _destroy_ this prick.**

“You must think you’re in the right…” Karma whispered, putting an arm under him.

“Why of course, that goes without saying.” Gakuhou replied immediately.

“Hah, it’s almost funny how arrogant you are.” Karma chuckled, lifting his knee.

“Excuse me?” Gakuhou raised an eyebrow. Gakushuu began tugging at his restraints.

“This whole stupid ideology you have, it’s really starting to piss me off. Nobody’s perfect, not me, not Shuu, and most definitely not you. As Gakushuu’s father, you should bring him up and help him learn from his mistakes. You don’t deserve him; not one bit. You abuse him, treat him wrong, make him feel like he’s worthless… WHAT KIND OF FATHER ARE YOU? THIS IS THE PERSON YOU ARE MEANT TO LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY, THE PERSON YOU ARE MEANT TO TAKE CARE OF, TO LOVE, TO GUIDE UNTIL THEY ARE OLD ENOUGH TO FEND FOR THEMSELVES. LOOK AT HIM. THAT’S YOUR _SON,_ YOUR FLESH AND BLOOD. ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TELLING ME THAT YOU FEEL _NOTHING_ FOR HIM? HE’S...he’s been through _so much_ because of you, isn’t it enough?” Karma yelled, getting up despite the pain and shouting his feelings for all to hear. Gakushuu’s eyes were wide as he looked at the redhead in front of him, feeling tears wet his waterline once again. Shit, what was this idiot saying?

Karma looked at Gakushuu, giving him a determined stare.

“I haven’t been with Gakushuu long, but anyone can see how amazing he is. And the fact that you don’t just means you’re missing out. He’s kind, considerate, handsome and charismatic, he gets good grades, makes loads of friends and achieves great things, how could you not be proud of him? You may not be able to see it, but I do. And I’m telling you this now, Gakushuu doesn’t need someone like you in his life. Because even though you don’t love him…I do.

Gakushuu gasped slightly over his gag, a single tear wetting his cheek. Karma smiled at him, a smile that was so full of love that Gakushuu didn’t know what he would do if anything happened to the person right in front of him. It was then that he really knew that… he loved him too.

“Was that meant to mean something to me?”

Karma and Gakushuu looked at Gakuhou in shock, who in turn just looked… bored.

“Was that meant to pull at my heartstrings? Make me rethink everything? Make me forgive Gakushuu because he’s my ‘son’?” Gakushuu wiggled some more.

Karma’s eyes hardened as he stared at the man in front of him. The man in front of him who was now _laughing as if this was the funniest joke in the world._ And it probably did feel like that to him.

“You’re a psychopath.” Karma whispered.

Gakuhou looked at the redhead with so much amusement and raw menace simultaneously that Karma almost felt too threatened to mess with him. _Almost._

“Maybe.”

Gakuhou walked to where the knife was laying on the floor, the blade glinting menacingly as he picked it up and flipped it in the air once. He turned towards Karma before smiling that psychotic smile of his. Karma took a step forward before buckling down a little, placing a hand to his head. He could feel the tiny shards in his hair; it hurt like shit. Not to mention the ringing in his ear had yet to stop. He didn't realise getting hit in the head with a vase would cause so much damage, then again, it _did_ look like a heavy vase. Gakushuu grunted as he wiggled and wiggled.

Gakuhou smirked at his condition before turning and slowly walking to the strawberry blonde who was staring at Karma with blatant concern.

“Imagine throwing away 15 years of your life, hoping that all of your hard work will pay off, only for it to all come crashing down in one fell swoop. That would hurt, wouldn't it? You’d _hate_ it, wouldn’t you? That’s how I feel every time I look at Gakushuu.”

“THAT’S YOUR SON-”

“As you’ve said many times. But if you’ve been listening, _I couldn’t care less whether he’s my son or not. He’s a mistake either way.”_

He lifted Gakushuu by the hair once again, giving it a harsh tug. Gakushuu fiddles with his restraints. “What do you do when a piece of work does not come out the way you want it to?” Gakuhou asked lightly.

“You delete it, erase it, remodel it, the point is… you get rid of what it once was, then start anew. The difference is…” Gakuhou held the knife up to Gakushuu’s throat, Gakushuu wiggled again, “I’m not going to start again. I’m ending it all, right here, right now.”

He tugged the gag away from Gakushuu’s mouth. He wiggled some more. 

“STOP!” Karma shouted just as Gakuhou reached to slit Gakushuu’s throat before...

...The rope came loose and Gakushuu grabbed the hilt of the blade just as it was about to cut into his throat. Blood ran from the gash on his fingers, but he showed no attention as he glared up at his father. Gakuhou’s face twisted into something awful as he tried again, ripping the knife away and lifting it up.

Gakushuu tried to dodge, but due to his weakened state was slow. Gakuhou came down like a clap of thunder, striking Gakushuu with his knife.

“NO!” Karma screamed as the knife sunk into Gakushuu’s abdomen, blood squirting out. Gakuhou grinned; he was loving this.

He pulled the knife out swiftly, watching as Gakushuu fell limply to the floor. It was silent until a laugh ripped through the air. Gakuhou had the knife in his hands as he twisted them into his hair, his face twisted into a grin so wide it stretched to his ears. His eyes were blank and bloodshot, and his son’s blood was on his face. His eyes looked crazy and unhinged- no- everything about him looked unhinged. From his face to his posture to his aura. This was it; his breaking point.

Gakuhou Asano had finally lost it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're welcome :)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was writing this chapter before a song came on hitting me right in the feels and I was like, I shouldn't be the only one who has to suffer here. So I'm putting the link down here for you to listen to as you read. I'm also going to tell you when to play, because it's only 3 minutes long and doesn't work with all of the story. 
> 
> When that is finished you can also listen to the other link I put if you want to continue listening to music while you read, but I'm warning you now its sad music so be prepared.
> 
> Link 1: https://youtu.be/f_UXwoqXc7s
> 
> Link 2: https://youtu.be/8Fzc14ftwN4
> 
> You bet your sweet booty that I'll be adding more music for the next chapter :)

Time stopped as Karma watched Gakushuu's body convulse slightly on the floor, the floorboards quickly becoming wet by the steadily growing pool of blood oozing out of Gakushuu's wound. His mind went red as he willed himself to get up, the pounding of his head and Gakuhou's laughter becoming white noise; his ears only focusing on Gakushuu's shallow breaths. He charged, letting out an angry roar as he ploughed into Gakuhou who didn't have enough time to dodge the furious redhead. The knife skidded on the floor as Gakuhou went down to the ground with Karma, but that wasn't what made Karma smile a satisfied grin. No, it was the sick crack that was heard as Gakuhou's head collided with the edge of the kitchen island, the splatter of blood that covered the porcelain edge. He was knocked out cold. 

Karma stared at the principal's face, more than ready to finish him off, before something in the back of his mind clicked. _Gakushuu._ He'd deal with the son of a bitch later, right now, Gakushuu was his first priority.

**(Start playing here)**

He crawled over to the strawberry-blonde, picking up his upper half onto his lap and stroking his hair. Despite it all though, Gakushuu's violet eyes were still open. Although the male had blood dripping from his mouth, and bruises forming from where Gakuhou had slapped his cheeks, Karma couldn't help but think how beautiful he was. He couldn't help thinking back to his year in 3-E and the times him and his class crossed paths with Asano. Simpler times, he supposed. How he wished he had realised his feelings sooner, maybe then he could have spent more time with him.

"That's... a lot of blood." Gakushuu wheezed out as he looked at the floor. Karma ran his fingers through strawberry-blonde hair with his right hand as his left applied pressure to his wound. If only it would stop all of the bleeding. 

"I let you down..." Tears involuntarily formed in Karma's eyes, threatening to break past his waterline. "You meant the world to me, you still do... I should have protected you." 

"It was my choice to come here, the blame is on me."

"But you were hurting! I knew and I didn't do anything. I'm sorry Gakushuu. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't- I didn't mean to," Shit, here come the tears. "This wasn't what I wanted!"

"I know." Gakushuu whispered as he stroked Karma's cheek. _'His hands are warm'_ Karma thought, though he didn't know whether it was because of his body temperature or the blood coating his hand.

The tears were really coming now, pouring down his face uncontrollably. Gakushuu wasn't any better, though they both knew between them that Karma was crying the hardest. Blood continued to seep out of Gakushuu's wound despite Karma's hand applying pressure, the shirt he was wearing, and now Karma's hands, drenched in his blood. It wasn't a good feeling at all, watching the person you love bleed out onto your hands, but what more could he do? 

"I'm not ready to let you go. I'm wasn't ready to say goodbye, and I'm not ready to say goodbye now." Karma whispered sadly.

"Me neither, but with either outcome you have to promise me you'll stay strong, ok? Promise me."

"I promise."

Karma pulled Gakushuu's head up as he gave him a sweet kiss to his forehead lovingly. He would stay strong, for him. He pulled away with a smile, before his breath caught in his throat at Gakushuu's distraught expression.

"Karma... I-I'm scared... What do I do? I don't-," Gakushuu choked on a sob as he tried to get his words out, "Shit, Karma... I don't want to die."

Karma's face scrunched up as he willed himself to not choke at Gakushuu's words. It was only a matter of time before Gakushuu's little facade broke anyway. Nobody would be ok with this kind of death, especially someone as prideful and strong-willed as him. It was scary looking death in the eye, it was even scarier knowing he was here to swing his scythe down at any minute, robbing you of your life and dragging you away from everyone you love. Gakushuu was strong, but he wasn't so fearless to not fear death. Karma would be the same if their positions were swapped.

Karma shuddered in a breath as he took out his phone from his pocket (it was a miracle it was even still in his pocket after all that went down) and dialled 119. 

"Hello 119 what's your emergency?" 

"Please come quick, he's bleeding out."

"Bleeding out? Who is?"

"The love of my life." Karma whispered into the phone, making more tears well up in Gakushuu's eyes.

"O-ok... where are you?"

"19 XX Street."

"Ok we just sent out an ambulance and a few police officers. What's your name?"

"Karma A-Akabane."

"Ok Karma, are you hurt?"

The call went on for another minute before the lady talking to him told him they would be there in 2 minutes before hanging up. He smiled a quivering smile at the strawberry-blonde, who gave an even shakier one back. He was beginning to feel lightheaded from all of the blood he was losing, his skin a ghostly white and dark circles forming underneath his eyes. He was so tired; he closed his eyes so that he could rest them for a bit seeing as they were beginning to become alarmingly heavy before being jolted awake by the redhead. "You stay awake, please, come on... don't you dare close your eyes, you hear me?!"

"But... I'm so tired."

"I know you are, but please hold on for just a little longer Shuu. Stay with me, please!"

"It's too late for me..."

"Stop saying that."

"Just forget about me, give up dammit!"

"I won't! I refuse..."

"You just have to move on..."

"How the hell am I meant to move on from something that wasn't meant to end?!"

"Karma..."

"Gakushuu I- I lo... I lov- Fuck, why can't I say it? I lo-"

"It's ok..."

"NO IT ISN'T! I- I need to say it, I won't be able to "move on" if I don't. Please, just let me have this... please."

"Karma."

"I lo- I lov- dammit, I-"

"I love you too."

"It's not fair, why can't I say it?"

"It’s ok, I'll just say it for you. I love you, see? I love you."

"I lov-"

"I love you."

"I lo-"

"I love you." Gakushuu pecked him on the lips with last remaining strength he had. Karma cradled his head in his arms as he pulled him into his chest, rocking and holding him tightly. 

Footsteps were heard as the paramedics and police officers stepped through into the Asano residence. They took one look at the state of the place before immediately getting to work.

"Are you Karma Akabane?" One of the nurses asked. Karma nodded. She smiled a warm, trusting smile. 

"I'm going to need to take him to treat him. Don't worry, I'll make sure you'll be able to see him. Is that ok?" Karma hesitated before nodding, letting her take Gakushuu who had long stopped talking. 

"Wait!" Karma held onto her shirt. She turned, offering a patient smile in question. "There's a man over there, he-"

"What are you talking about sweetie? There is no man over there."

Karma froze for a moment before turning to where Gakuhou's unconscious body should be, only to find it bodiless. How? How did he escape without either of them noticing? Boiling rage bubbled up in him again at the mere prospect of Gakuhou roaming free, he was going to kill the bastard. 

"Are you Karma Akabane?" A police officer asked, redirecting the redhead's direction.

"Yes."

"We'd like to bring you in for questioning."

"But Gakushuu-"

"We'll be doing the questioning at the hospital, that way you can still be with him." 

Karma looked at the strawberry-blonde who was being pushed in a white stretcher before nodding. The policeman looked pleased with his lack of resistance before excusing himself as another nurse told Karma it was time to go. They ushered him into the ambulance before taking off towards the hospital. 

Karma sniffed as he took Gakushuu's hand in his own and brought it to his lips before bringing it to his forehead and squeezing. "I love you." He whispered. He smiled, cursing himself for not saying it before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More stories for your reading pleasure!
> 
> Extemporaneous by LostLoveLetters  
> Dude, this story is amazing and I love it! The updates are a little slow, but it's definitely worth giving it a shot! It's about Gakushuu and Karma sharing a house together because of a silly bet they made and honestly, it's everything I would look for in a Karushuu fic. 
> 
> Asano Gakushuu Can't Stand Sweets by SilentWaves  
> It's about valentines day and is so funny, I love it and read it all the time! Definitely recommend if you want some beautiful Karushuu content!
> 
> Majesty by Jamsandwizard  
> Ok hear me out, it IS disconnected but it would be such a waste not to read! It is a great story about the two being princes and I just can't- ugh! Please read and motivate the author to write more!
> 
> At least i got you in my head by Underfallingflowerpetals  
> Beautiful and funny story about Gakushuu and Karma switching bodies, made me laugh a lot and I assure you it will do the same to you!
> 
> Gagged by Jamsandwizard  
> Is this also not completed? Yes...  
> Should you still read it? Most definitely!  
> It is in first person which made me hesitate in reading it, but it is such a good read and should be acknowledged wayyy more. It's about a certain redhead who kidnapped a certain strawberry-blonde. Again, go read and motivate the author to upload!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is here.

Rain poured down from the heavy clouds as lightning crackled menacingly; doing a great job as it illuminated the stones...Gakushuu's in particular. Karma stood still as he held a black umbrella over his head, contemplating what he would do now. It was as if his life had no meaning anymore. Surprisingly- or maybe not so much- there were no relatives of the Asano's there, but the whole of Kunugigaoka middle school made up for it. E class were there too, though it was more to support him. 

He heard crying and wailing, shuffling feet and supportive words all around him, some even coming up to him to offer their condolences, as if he were family. He supposed he was a little like family to Shuu. The priest holding the ceremony was reading from the bible, preaching about how 'He was in a better, happier place now'. Karma knew for a fact that was a lie, seeing as Gakushuu had told him himself that he was happiest when he was in Karma's arms. How he wished they could could go back to when they slept together. Maybe then, Karma could say the forbidden words he didn't get to say in time.

When it was time for them to lower the casket into the grave, Karma almost lashed out. Almost, Nagisa stopped him with a shake of his head and clung on to his arm like his life depended on it. He wanted to lash out and fight back, scream that it wasn't fair, how all of this was utter and complete bullshit. That he was still here and shouldn't be buried six feet under. Nagisa tugged at his arm again, and he ceased all movement. Nagisa was right, he wasn't coming back, no matter how much Karma pleaded.

Itona came up to him at one point, surprising him slightly. "I didn't really know Asano but... it seems like you two were close. I'm sorry." Was all he muttered before walking away.

Next was Kayano, "I'm not going to offer my condolences because I feel like you've had enough of those to last you a lifetime, but just know that I’m sorry it didn't work out." Then Nagisa, Maehara, the whole of E class before it was only Isogai left.

"Guess it wasn't meant to be." Karma muttered as the brunette stood beside him in silence. Isogai only patted Karma on the back before walking away. One by one, people started to leave, before it was only him and one other person.

"I've known Gakushuu since we were 6, so why do I feel like you're the one hurting more than me, his supposed childhood best-friend?" Karma looked up at Ren who had walked next to him, sighing as he put his hand in his pocket and the other holding his own umbrella. "You loved him, didn't you." A statement, not a question.

"I did." Ren smiled before heaving out a sad sigh. He held out a white lily to Karma, making said male stare at him in confusion. "Gakushuu always did prefer lilies over roses." Was all he said before taking the rose from Karma's hand and replacing it with the white flower. He walked away, leaving Karma to his thoughts.

It was only then, when he was alone, that he let a sob be wrung from his throat as tears leaked down his face. He crouched down, arranging the lily with the other roses that were there before stoking the stone. He gently kissed the carving on it, whispering an "I love you" before getting up and slowly walking away. Away from the stone that had the name 'Gakushuu Asano' written in bold.

* * *

Karma whimpered into Kayano's lap, the two having gotten closer after sharing something that they both had in common; the death of a loved one. Karma sobbed as he held the green-haired girl tighter.

"I didn't know anything about him, Kayano, nothing at all! I didn't know his favourite food, or his favourite colour, what books he liked to read... I didn't e-even know his favourite flower!" He sobbed miserably, "I knew nothing about him, yet I still loved him so much. I felt like I knew everything, that I was the one he trusted the most. Turns out that was only a pipe dream in the end."

"Don't say that, you probably _were_ the person he trusted the most. I mean, think about it, if he didn't trust you, why would he have gone to you in his most desperate time of need?" Kayano ran her fingers through his red locks, sighing loudly, "You'd think he'd go to Sakakibara or another one of those virtuosos, but no, he came to _you._ That's gotta mean something!"

"I j-just feel like I failed him." Karma whispered, yelping when Kayano suddenly lifted his face from her lap, staring him straight into his eyes. His face was red, and he had snot running down his nose, but Kayano dismissed it all, feeling immense pity and sympathy for her friend but deciding not to show it. 

"No you didn't, has Asano ever told you that you failed him?"

"...No."

"Then stop putting words into his mouth! You did everything you could, it was the same with my sister and me. I tried all I could but... It just- It just wasn't meant to be." Kayano stroked Karma's cheek gently. He felt like he had heard that saying before.

"I loved him so much Kayano."

"I know you did." She kissed his forehead and pulled his head to her chest, squeezing him tightly as he continued to sob into her lithe frame. She stoked his hair, whispering soothing words into his ears. Nagisa soon came in and joined them, hugging Karma's back. In any other situation, he would have been jealous of someone clinging to his girlfriend like that, but he just couldn't bring himself too. Instead, he decided to share some of Karma's pain, trying his best to soothe him. He just hoped it was working.

* * *

When Karma walked back into school for the first time since the holiday's, he was met with sympathetic looks and pitying stares; he hated it. Why the hell was he the one being pitied? Though he supposed he had a slight idea why, because when he walked into his classroom and saw the flowers on Asano's desk he choked and ran out the room. The only one to treat him normally was Ren, the other virtuosos doing their best to act normal, but it was obvious what was on their minds. What was on everyone's minds. He could hear it, the whispering behind his back as he walked down the halls.

_“He was the one who was with Asano last, before he died”_

_“Seriously?! Wait… do you think it was Akabane who **killed** him?”_

_“It’s definitely a possibility, I mean, he’s so **violent**.”_

_“Yeah, a total **delinquent**.”_

_“I feel so bad for Akabane, I’m sure he’s suffering so much.”_

_“Why would he, it wasn’t like they were close or anything.”_

_“Well I heard they were in a **secret relationship**.”_

_“ **Poor Akabane** , I can’t even imagine what it must be like for him.”_

_“Right? **So sad**.”_

_“He’s probably the reason why Asano died, it makes sense!”_

_“Yeah, it was common knowledge they both **hated each other**.”_

_“Not to mention Asano-kun is way to handsome and strong to be bested by him.”_

_“Uh-huh, he probably committed **suicide** with the sheer though of being friends with him hahaha”_

_“I heard they found some of Asano-Kun’s things in Akabane’s house.”_

_“Eww, he probably **kidnapped** poor Shuuey!” _

_“Right?! Who would want to live with him?”_

_"I saw him crying at Asano's funeral, you know. I left my bag so I went back and saw him kiss his grave and everything!"_

_"That's so sad! I heard they were **totally in love!** "_

_"Yeah... maybe I should lend him my notes, seeing as he doesn't really **show up to class** anymore."_

_"Mmhm, and I'll bake him a get well soon cake."_

They were either with him or against him and he hated that so much. He got called to the counsellor’s office more too, though it was just her asking the same old questions.

"How are you feeling today?"

"How have you been coping?"

"Again, so sorry for what happened to you."

"How do you think Asano's death has affected you?"

He was beginning to grow real tired of it all.

* * *

The redhead walked through into his room and plopped onto his bed. He sniffed the pillow beside him, it smelled like the shampoo he gave Gakushuu to use. It smelled just like him. Hair was dusted on his pillow too, making Karma swallow hard. In the end, he just grabbed the pillow and hugged it, crying his tears and telling his sorrows to the pillow unrestrained.

He did that until Maehara and Isogai payed a visit, them coaxing him out of bed and forcing him to take a bath and eat something. Though when they left, he just repeated his crying session, into that ratty old pillow. The only thing he had left of his love.

* * *

"What do you mean you haven't found him yet!?"

"Calm down Akabane, we're doing the best we can to find him-"

"Well _obviously_ your best isn't enough!" Karma seethed as he paced around the room irritably, kicking away the chair they had told him to sort down in. It had been over a month and they still had yet to catch Gakuhou, the prick who had started this all.

"It's been a month, maybe we should give this a rest-"

"A rest?! For what?! Do you know how much that bastard has put me through? He took Shuu away from me!"

"And we understand that but there is no point looking for someone already out of the country!"

Karma stopped and turned to look at the policeman who had a hand over his mouth. "...What?"

"H-He... um... he isn't showing up on our system. Meaning that he's either dead or... out of the country."

Karma sucked in a breath before exhaling, running a hand through his hair. "You let him get away?"

"We didn't let him get away per see-"

"Why are you people so incompetent?! One job, I asked for one job! Arrest the man who took everything away from me. But nooo, that's way too hard for you people to understand."

"Now wait a minute-"

"And they ask me why I don't trust the police, it’s because they don't get shit done!" Karma raged, flipping the table and making the very _timid_ policeman squeak. He stormed out of the conference room, grabbing his bag from the front desk and exiting the building.

(-Meanwhile in the conference room-

"What happened here?"

"Satan."

“What?”

 _“Please,_ don't assign me to him again."

"Goddammit this is the third officer Akabane-")

* * *

"Can you believe the audacity of it all?!"

"Karma, you need to calm down."

"Calm down? How the hell am I meant to stay calm Nagisa?!"

"I understand you're angry but please think about what you are about to do."

"What if it were you and Kayano in this position, huh? Wouldn't you do everything in your power to avenge Kayano if some asshole took her away from you?"

"That isn't fair, Karma."

"Exactly! I know what I’m doing."

"Going to kill Gakuhou yourself isn't going to make you happy or fix anything. And it certainly won't bring back Asano!"

"You may be right about that, but you're also wrong about one thing."

"What?"

"It would make me fucking ecstatic to plunge a knife deep into his throat."

"Karma!"

* * *

"We can't let you go Karma." Isogai sighed, arms out in front of the door as Itona, Nakamura, Okuda, Terasaka, Nagisa and Kayano stood at the doorway with him.

"Watch me."

Terasaka sighed before grunting a little as he lifted Karma up. He may not be as strong as Karma, but he was sure as hell strong enough to lift his feet off of the floor and carry him to his bed. "Let go of me!" Karma screamed and kicked. Maehara quickly ushered everyone out of the bedroom, leaving only Okuda and Nakamura in the room.

"You go, I'll handle this." Okuda sighed to the blonde, walking quietly over to the angry redhead. Nakamura only nodded before exiting. She took out a tissue with chloroform, struggling to get Karma to breath some in due to his constant thrashing. Though she eventually succeeded, knocking the redhead out and stopping all further escapes.

When Karma woke up again, an hour later, Kayano was already there, stroking his hair in the way that he loved. It was as if all of his previous bloodlust had evaporated unto thin air, only leaving a slight buzz.

"I just wanted to get him back, for everything he’s done."

"I know, but this isn't what Asano would have wanted. Revenge isn't the way, take it from me."

"I want to see him."

Kayano hugged him closer. "I know."

Karma cried silently as he thought back to one of the few important conversations he had with the strawberry-blonde. Only this one was the one he remembered the most.

_"Hey Karma... What am I to you?"_

He finally knew the answer...

_"You're my everything."  
_

* * *

_"Love comes in all shapes and sizes, and you won't be able to find it straight away,_

_but when you do, grasp on to it tightly. If for some reason you aren't able to, just know_

_that no matter what, there will be others there to support you. Just make sure you carry on their memory..._

_And smile. -Korosensei_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who made it this far! The song in question...
> 
> Link: https://youtu.be/QjGHfObVKzs
> 
> Damn, it’s been one rollercoaster! Thanks to everyone who left comments and kudos, they always made my day better! I’m sorry for killing Gakushuu but it was endgame from the very beginning so-
> 
> I will make a sequel, but it’ll just be a short one-shot. I won’t tell you what it’s about though ;)

**Author's Note:**

> :)


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